#i think the next one i will finish is jean's personal story maybe

[paparoach]

IM DONE.

[darnell-la]

how about dark!logan and ex-girlfriend human reader. They broke up bcs she thought he was cheating on her, but turns out it was just misunderstanding and now dark!logan gets jealous that she already moved on from her

note: this story was an emotional roller coaster, but that’s how we like it. we love a bit of chaos and overreaction.

in this story, Logan is pretty emotional whether that’s him being sad at first or turning into a wild animal once he gets y/n back. of course, his jealousy is mentioned when he FUCKS y/n. he HATED how close she was to a man while he was being ignored.

follow our Instagram @ darnell.la so we can start posting random videos, photos, edits, and memes of the people we write about!

———

“We’re done, Logan, and that’s that,” Y/n said before she walked away from the man. “Y/n! — Hey!” The man stalked after her, confused about where this attitude came from.

“You’re not going to just break up with me, and walk away without an explanation!” The man said as he sped in front of her to stop her in her tracks.

“You get no explanation, just like I didn’t. I’ve been confused, hurt, upset, and left for months! You can deal with it for the rest of your life,”

That was the last time y/n had talked to Logan. The young woman packed her stuff at night so she wouldn’t cause a scene, and left.

Y/n feels off about being here again. It’s been a year, and she hasn’t quite talked to anyone since then. Of course, Charles would speak to her through her thoughts, but at times, she shut him out.

Hank, Storm, and Jean try to invite her to parties or get-togethers, thinking she’d maybe come one day, but she never does. She was in a whole new state in those times.

Scott on the other hand messaged her every day he could. Apart from her thoughts he only wanted to get close to her, to get at Logan from past jealousy, but in actuality, he genuinely liked her company.

The man texted her every day, even called and somehow, she’d answer him. Scott felt special that out of everyone, she’d answer him.

Logan was the only one in the group that had no contact with y/n. She had blocked the man anytime a new number or social media account popped up. He was desperate, and she hated it. She hated him.

“Charles said you were coming. Didn’t believe it until now,” Scott said as he walked out of the mansion, instantly picking y/n up into a hug. “Did you get stronger?” Y/n laughed after the man placed her down. “You can say that,”

“Y/n!?” Storm shouted before her, Hank and Jean ran over to her, giving her a group hug. For a second, she felt bad for leaving them all behind, but after Logan, she had to go somewhere. She couldn’t stay around anymore.

“How long are you staying?” Hank asked as he grabbed her bags, as well as Scott's. “Maybe a night or two,” she replied making them all sigh. “Seriously!? You can’t leave us like that. Not again,” Jean spoke.

Y/n didn’t hate Jean, but when she looked at the woman, she felt pain. It wasn’t her fault that Logan couldn’t put aside his feelings.

“Maybe I’ll stay long,” Y/n said before walking into the mansion. Storm and Jean drifted off to finish whatever they were doing while Hank and Scott took her to her room. Her old room that she hadn’t really slept in since she used to be with Logan all the time.

“Logan will be here. He went out to get wood,” Hank said before he left. “You okay with being back? You never really told us why you did,” Scott spoke after y/n sat down on her bed.

“Oh, just some personal things going on. That’s it,” she said. “Heard you haven’t talked to Logan. Was he the reason why you left?” He asked as he sat next to the young lady. He knew it was, but didn’t know why.

“I don’t really feel like talking about it or him. I kinda don’t even wanna see him,” y/n said, making Scott chuckle. “I feel you on that, but Logan’s crushed. I hate the man, but I also hate to see a teammate distracted,”

Scott got up and walked towards her room door, ready to get back to what he was doing. “Think about it, because my motorcycle just pulled up,” Scott said before leaving.

Y/n sighed, knowing Logan was going to make his way straight up here. She didn’t know how he’d react. She didn’t know how she’d react. What will she possibly do or say?

Y/n said in silence for only a couple of minutes before her door opened. He had pushed it open, not believing she was here until he saw her.

“Y/n,” he said before rushing over to her. The man dropped to his knees and hugged the girl tightly. His face hurried into her stomach as tears streamed down his face. She was really here.

“Logan,” y/n softly pushed at his shoulders, but he wouldn’t let go. He didn’t want to. It’s been a year, and he’s traveled to so many places, hoping to find her, but she was never there.

“Lo,” she spoke again, and this time, he pulled away. His hands rose to her face and cupped both of her cheeks. “I-It’s been so long,” the man looked into her eyes, making her feel like shit.

The man who couldn’t give her any attention gave it to her a year later. How dare he make her feel like this?

“Yeah — It has,” she softly pulled his hands away from his wrist. The man’s face changed from, I’m so happy you’re finally here, too, what’s going on? She’s never been this way towards him until that night. The last night he saw her.

“I’m kinda tired, so, yeah,” she spoke, wanting him away from her and out of her sight. “D-Don’t go to sleep without me, lemme get a shower in then I’ll-“ he stood up and walked towards the door, but the woman cut him off. “No,” she said with a stern voice.

“I like being alone,” she added. The man looked back at her, confused about why his girlfriend was acting this way. “Baby, what’s up with you? I-I thought that maybe since you came back, fixed whatever was going on with you,” Logan said in a soft voice.

“Whatever what going on with me!? God, Logan — Please, the fuck out,” y/n rolled her eyes. “Y/n, I didn’t mean it like-“ he tried explaining himself. “I said get the fuck out!” She yelled at the man.

Logan’s body jumped slightly, shocked at the way she was being. He didn’t know what was wrong, and she refused to tell him. It’s been a year, and she still hasn’t told him.

Logan opened his mouth, but the girl turned around and tucked herself under her covers. She was done seeing him for tonight. For the rest of the time she planned to stay here.

“Been a while since you’ve partied with us. Kinda missed that,” Scott said after he took a shot with y/n. “Yeah — I kind of missed it too,” she admitted with a smile. “Wanna dance?” The man asked in a friendly way, and she accepted.

The two went on the dance floor, dancing wide by wide for a while until he grabbed her hips. They both laughed with each other, having the most fun she’s had in a year.

“God, I’ve missed you, y/n. Texting and calling ain’t enough, you know? Maybe you should come visit me or I’ll come visit you,” he suggested. “I’ll think about it,” she smiled.

As Scott and y/n hugged it out on the floor, Logan couldn’t help but stop it. The man pushed off of the tree he was leaning back on in the distance and sped over to the two.

The man was close, about to ruin whatever the fuck they had going on, but y/n pulled away and said something to the man before she left.

Logan stopped in his tracks and watched her walk off to the side of the party. She got on her phone and began texting.

“Might stay with family for another night. I’ll be back to work soon,”

“So — How’s your night going?” Logan asked, making y/n turn around as she placed her phone in her pocket. Looking at the man in front of him felt different. When she first got here, the man looked warm out.

He had grown the beard but didn’t take care of it, his face looked dirty like he hadn’t washed it, his eyes were baggy, and she swore his body looked less fit, but not too much. Only she’d notice it…

“Can you not just fuck off? For once, Logan! Fuck!” Y/n shouted at the man who came up to her with two cups. He noticed she’d been drinking for the past few days, and even though he hated it when she did, he still brought one of the lighter drinks to maybe get close to her.

“But why? You won’t talk to me. You won’t even look at me. I-I don’t understand, y/n,” Logan’s voice cracked as he walked after y/n through the woods. “I’m goin’ to bed. Gotta leave early tomorrow,” the woman had instantly changed her mind about staying.

“W-What!?” Logan basically screamed. She hadn’t even been here for a week. She hadn’t spoken to him unless she yelled at him. She was going to leave him. Again.

“Y/n, stop it!” The man shouted as he threw the two cups to the ground and ran in front of her to stop her in her tracks. Last time, that didn’t stop her from leaving, but he’ll make sure it does this time.

“Logan — Get the fuck out of my way,” she said as she moved to the side, but before she could go any further, he grabbed her arm tightly. The man slowly grew angry, but still had all that sad emotion running through his heart.

“N-No — I-I’m not gonna let you talk to Storm, talk to Jean, talk to Hank a-and dance on Scott and leave without talking to me!” The man’s eyes teared up again.

“Well, I don’t wanna talk to you, so,” y/n went to pull away, but he tightened his grip. She was human, and he knew that grip would hurt, but he couldn’t let her go again. Not without an explanation, and even if she gave a damn good one, he wasn’t letting her out of his sight again.

“Logan, ow!” She shouted at the man, now slapping his arm. “Stop it — Stop it, y/n!” He yelled in her face, letting a deep growl escape his mouth.

“Y-You’re not leaving! — I-I’m not letting you go again, so, like— So what if you hate me now? So what i-if you don’t wanna date me anymore? Y-You don’t have to leave though,”

“Logan-“ y/n tried saying. “No! You’re not gonna fuckin’ talk to Scott, and not me!” The man finally let her arm go with a push. The look on his face made sure she knew he was angry, but all she could do was roll her eyes.

“You’re a dick, you know? All you care about is me talking to Scott, but nothing else. What about what you did, huh? What about what you did!” Y/n grew angry. “You won’t tell me what I did!” Logan shouted.

“Because you should already know! Why do I have to tell my boyfriend, now ex-boyfriend that giving another woman more attention than me, is a problem!? Why!? That’s not my place to if you’re a real man, and clearly — You’re not!”

Y/n nudged Logan’s shoulder as she walked by, but instantly got grabbed and pushed against a tree. The man held her upper arm, not letting her go anywhere.

“What the fuck are you talking about, babe? Ian never gives no other woman my attention. Not one! I-I’ve only thought about you for the past year!”

“Oh, is that true? Then why before I finally dumped your ass, Hank blabbered to me that you and Jean, your ex-kissing toy, by the way, were going on a secret mission?” Y/n finally asked.

“Oh, oh- And tell me why he also said that you choose to go on mission with her, instead of me. Tell me that! Tell me why you can’t tell me that you’re going on missions with your ex!” Y/n yelled in the man’s face with no tears in her eyes. Just full of anger.

“Baby, I — Baby, Hank wasn’t supposed to tell you-“ Logan went to say, but y/n cut him off with a wild scream as she shook her whole body. She was furious and wanted him out of her face.

“Of course, he wasn’t, you dumb bitch! Because you’re a cheating son of a bitch! A fuckin’ dumb, damn good-looking, manipulative cheater!”

“Baby, no, no- That’s not what I am. You never even asked me what was going on, you just-“ he got cut off again. “I left! I fucking left because I have no business being with a manwhore who can’t keep his dick in his beer-printed dollar tree boxers!”

Logan softly pulled y/n off of the tree and slamming her back to shut her up. “God, y/n, what the fuck — You-You can’t even let me get a sentence out without disrespecting or interrupting me,” he said. “I thought you loved those boxers,”

Y/n chuckled to herself as a tear finally slipped from her eye. “I did — That was before you decided to throw that all away,” the way she looked at him with no type of love in her eyes, broke his heart. And she had her story all wrong.

“If I wasn’t enough, why couldn’t you just tell me? Let me go and let me live my life instead of thinking someone actually loved me. Y-You say you’re not like any human I’ve dated, but you’re are. You’re like them all,”

“Hey!” Logan’s hands gripped around y/n’s neck, upset at her words. “Don’t fuckin’ disrespect me like that — Especially since you got your story all flipped and fucked up,” the man still had cracks in his voice. He was left for a year, all because of caring for y/n.

“I wasn’t fucking cheating on you. Those secret missions were days I’d leave with Jean and Storm which I bet he forgot to mention because he didn’t know you’d react like that — to go find me and you a new home to live in,”

“For months I’ve been trying to find a nice house away from people because I know how much you like being alone. I just needed woman’s help because I suck when it comes to that shit,”

Y/n’s heart rate began to slow down, and her eyes softened at his side of the story. She couldn’t think about what she’d done and caused, but she knew it was bad when her head felt light.

“As for the picking Jean to go on missions? That was shitty of me, but my excuse is that I didn’t want my girlfriend fighting fights she didn’t have to,”

“What the fuck so I look like having you come fight mutants when you’re not a mutant? Jean is one of the strongest mutants, so I chose her. Storm has to teach the kids, Hank never leaves the lab, and god knows Ian pickin’ Scott,”

“And y/n — You’re a teacher too, so why the fuck would I pull you away from what you love doing just to fight and risk your life? I rather thee others do that, then you, Bub,”

Y/n hasn’t heard that nickname in a year. Bub. She missed and, and he knew how much he missed it when she instantly began crying.

“Hey, hey,” Logan lifted the girl back to her feet after her legs gave out on her. “I’m sorry!” She cried out, fully knowing the situation, and understanding how shitty she is for leaving without asking.

“I-I thought I was helping myself, but I wasn’t! I-I hurt you and the others a-and I’m just a bad person!” She sobbed into his chest.

“Baby, no. Don’t think that way about yourself. I understand how you thought about what you did, baby. Don’t push yourself down for that,” the man pulled her head back and rubbed her tears away.

“Just make it up by staying. All that pain I felt of you ignoring me and being away from my arms are all gone away, you know why? Because you’re here right now. In front of my face looking as beautiful as you were last year,”

“I’m just so sorry, Logan,” Y/n looked down, but the man quickly lifted her chin back up. “Nah uh — we’re not feeling like this anymore. I have a lot to make up for,” the man rubbed the girl's bottom lip, happy that she was finally with him again.

“Gonna look back into those homes, and get ‘em ready for us, baby,” Logan used his free hand to trace down her body until he gripped her waist. “And then you’ll never be able to leave me again. Gonna be just us. No one else,”

Logan's lips finally touched hers, making his heart rate rise. It’s been so long, and his lips are finally back on his girl. His future.

Y/n lazily kissed back, tears still running down her cheek. The girl pulled back a few times to catch her breath, but Logan would instantly reattach their lips. He needed to taste her forever.

“C’mon, stop movin, baby,” Logan hungrily sucked on her lips, even slipping his tongue in her mouth to feel her inner cheeks. “Please, baby,” the man spoke, but y/n couldn’t grow that instant energy. She was still human.

“Baby,” Logan pulled back and looked down at his girlfriend. “Don’t fuckin’ make me wait any longer. I need you, so please fuckin’ stay still,” he demanded before leaning to go back in, but she stopped him by placing her hands on his chest.

“Give me a second, babe — Please,” she looked up at the man, but he couldn’t. “You didn’t give Scott a second,” the man said in a stern voice. “What!? — Baby, I’ve never kissed him,” she assured.

“Well, you were close. Too close, and you know how I feel about him,” Logan’s hands gripped both sides of y/n’s waist, digging his nails into the pretty little dress she wore for the night.

“You were mad at me and went straight to Scott. You fuckin’ knew that would piss me off,” y/n pushed at her taken-back boyfriend, trying to get his grip to loosen, but it never did.

“Yeah, I’ve been sad, baby. So fuckin’ sad, but the only thing I could think about was showing you who the fuck you talked to that night,” the man thought back to the day she left him.

“I heard them talk about being in touch with you — Every day y/n? Really? Textin’ that son of a bitch every day, but can’t shoot me a lil like on my message!?” Logan finally pulled his hands off of y/n’s waist, taking her dress with him.

“Logan!” The girl shouted in shock as she held the breeze on her. “Got me so fuckin’ angry, Bub. I can’t control it. Can’t get out of my head the days you’ve been away from me. The days you text him, and not me,” Logan had sniffed y/n’s neck.

“At least I don’t smell a new man on you. You know what I would’ve done if I did, baby?” The man asked, lips pressed against the girl's neck. “The same shit I’m about to do to you for humping Scott,”

Logan quickly unbuckled his belt and pulled his thick blue jeans down. Y/n opened her mouth to calm the man down, but she didn’t want to. She deserved this. He needed to get his anger out.

Y/n went to jump, but before she did, the man pulled her up himself, quickly pulling her down on his cock until every inch of him was covered.

“L-Lo!” The girl moaned loudly as her feet curled. “Augh, yes!Still fuckin’ tight,” Logan pressed y/n further into the tree as he bucked his hips upward, making sure to bruise her cervix.

The growls he let out on her ear and on her neck, made her heart raise. It was hot, but she was slightly afraid. He was going to break up, but there was nothing she could do about it. She deserved this.

“Don’t ever fuckin’ leave me again. Pretty little sluts like you are in men’s minds all the time. You need me around. Need me to keep you safe and away from them. Even Scott! — If I ever fuckin’ catch you guys eye fuckin’ again — I’ll fuck you in front of him. Make sure he knows how good this pussy’s molded for my cock,”

Logan’s sad emotions were no longer here. The man was full of anger. His girl left him over some stupid-ass miss understanding and then she almost left again after having a sweet ole dance with Scott. Oh — he wasn’t letting this go soon. Not at all.

“I bet when you spoke to him before you left, you told him to come meet you in your room. Such a fuckin’ slut. I knew you had something for that four eyed freak,” Logan’s hips snapped up against y/n’s thighs. She could barely breathe.

“I-I did no such thing,” y/n struggled to get out. “Sure you didn’t. You know you’re a pretty little thing, right? You know you can get whoever you want, and I know you wanted him. I just know it,” Logan’s mind went crazy. The jealousy showed in the man, and he didn’t care.

Logan was nothing like y/n. She left when she thought he cheated, but Logan could never. He’d hold her closer. Lock her up somewhere so she can’t do it again, then kill the guy she cheated on him with. She belonged to him, and him only.

One of Logan’s hands reached up and gripped her neck as he looked into her eyes. His eyes were dark and hers were soft and could barely stay open.

“Ima take you back to your room, and if he knocks and comes in, the sight he’ll see will be buried into his mind just like my cock in that pretty little hole you haven’t let me fuck yet,”

That threat made y/n’s cunt clench. In the back of her mind, she had wished Scott would come to her room for something so Logan could fuck her ass. She was so wet, and that leaked down the crack of her ass, making her feel like she could take him so easily.

“P-Please,” the girl begged, making the man that was fucking her into the tree, chuckle. “Slut likes being fucked in the ass? Bet it’s a virgin ass, and you’re just a dirty little whore,” Logan guessed right.

“So fuckin’ dirty — Came back to ignore me, and now I’m balls deep in your pussy — My pussy — My fuckin’ pussy, baby,” Logan twitched in the grips walls, making her close. She hasn’t felt his seed in months. She needed it.

“S-Such a dirty w-whore, Logan,” y/n admitted in a low and whiny voice. All the crying and hate she had towards the man had faded away. She loved him and never stopped. She just needed a reminder that she could never leave him. Even if she tried, like she did.

“That’s it, baby — My dirty little whore — Fuck,” Logan used a hand to grab the side of her face and pull her into a rough and sloppy kiss. She’s always tasted so damn good.

Both of them moaned in each other's mouths, sweating, breathing heavily, and feeling their climax near. They needed to cum. They needed to few each other cum.

Before they knew it, the woods filled with their moans and groans. The wet sloppy sound of Logan’s cock slipping in and out of her heat could be heard as well.

Anyone who walked by in the distance definitely heard the two, but who cared at this point? All that would do is make Logan feel better because at least then they’d go off and tell people that she really does belong to him.

“Oh, fuck, baby,” the man growled, lips all over hers as he breathed into her mouth. “So fuckin’ full of me, Bub. All filled up and up to date,” the man chuckled with a smile. He missed it. He missed her.

“T-Thank you, baby,” Y/n said low, feeling her vision slowly slip away, but she knew she would be taken care of. She was with Logan again, and he would do anything to make sure she knew she was safe and set for life.

[katieaki]

My ✨ post-apocalyptic Lesbian Cowgirl Mailman choose-your-own adventure✨ has just updated! Read it here for free on my Patreon and vote in the poll! Here is a guide to get you started, the summaries of each part of the story thus far, the complete collected text, and FAQ, all in one place. They have everything you need to know about Lou, her requited-but-complicated love, the religious assassin who just beat the tar out of her, the worst person she's ever met, and the ill-advised journey she is on! There is also a discord where Pony Express readers from all across god's green internet can gather, here!

Read the update for free on my patreon & vote on what happens next! Excerpt below the cut.

“Please don’t go to sleep yet,” Artie said. She sat halfway up and looked at Lou, really looked at her, for the first time that night. She looked haunted. She had been still for a while except for that tremor that she didn’t seem to be able to kick, but she looked fragile. There was a mark across her cheek from resting on Lou’s jeans for so long.

“I’m beat, Artie. My head is killing me. My arm,” Lou said. She could barely keep her eyes open. “I’m out of stuff to say. You look alright now.”

“It’s not that,” Artie said. She buried her face in Lou’s lap again.

“Then what?” Lou said.

Artie said something, but her voice was so quiet and muffled, Lou couldn’t hear her.

“What?” she said, leaning in close.

“I’m not ready for you to hate me again,” Artie said, a little louder that time. She winced at the admission.

Lou nodded. “I ain’t apologizing,” she said.

“You shouldn’t,” Artie said into Lou’s thigh.

“I ain’t. And I am still mad, don’t go around thinking I ain’t mad,” Lou said.

“I don’t,” Artie said.

“But I think, since we’re gonna die and all we have is each other anymore, I think maybe I’m finished hollering at you,” Lou said. Artie looked up at her from the ground, her dark eyes glossy in the low light. “I do have two stipulations. Don’t fucking slip me nothing else.”

“I won’t— I swear to the gods I won’t. That was a mistake— you– you have no idea how much I regret–“

“Nothing. No matter your intention,” Lou said.

“Nothing,” Artie agreed, eagerly.

“And,” Lou said, “you gotta be nice to Holliday again.”

Artie grimaced like she’d been given something extremely bitter to eat.

“She’s deluded and mean and this is all her fault, but there ain’t no point in being mean back, now. She lied to us but she didn’t know she was taking us on a wild goose chase. She believes something’s out there for her. Really believes,” Lou said. “If I can be tolerant of you and her, you can tolerate her. Let’s spend these last days in peace.”

“These aren’t our last days,” Artie said. She sat up. Even in her pale and drawn face, her eyes had an intensity and determination behind them that Lou felt she hadn’t seen from her in a while.

“Weeks, then,” Lou said. She didn’t know how fast someone could starve to death. The prospect of starving slowly for months chilled her.

“I’m gonna keep us alive,” Artie said. “I’m bringing you home. I’m bringing you home alive. Leave it to me.”

“Okay,” Lou said. She nodded and Artie nodded back, determined. Lou didn’t believe it, but, like with Holliday, there was no need to argue about it anymore. Let them all think what they needed to think to die peacefully.

[stellar-skyy]

OLDER SIBLING HCS: MONDSTADT EDITION. (PART ONE) - Platonic Jean, Rosaria, Lisa, Sucrose, Eula & reader

i. SUMMARY: Mondstadt characters with a younger sibling. ii. CONTENT WARNINGS: Implied death in Rosaria's part, mentions of food/eating in Jean's part. iii. NOTES: Fluff, slight angst, gn!reader, they/them pronouns used, 2.4k words. iv. A/N: i actually read rosaria's and eula's backstory for this, and wow... give my girls a break. i wanted to include everyone in here, before realizing how long it would get, so here is a part one for mondstadt girls! stay tuned for the rest of the nations (and maybe tell me who you want to see next?)

JEAN

Okay let’s be honest, while Jean is an amazing big sister while she’s there, she is rarely… there.

It isn’t out of a wilful neglect, it’s rather that as the Acting Grand Master, her schedule is so tightly packed that she barely has time to breathe, let alone taking time off for personal reasons.

When she does manage to squeeze in room for you, it is usually a short slot of time between her usual tasks. Kaeya, noticing how desperate she was in rearranging her schedule to spend time with her sibling, did her the favour of crossing off some of her tasks and handing them away to other Knights.

(When she found out it was Kaeya who was messing with her schedule, she gave him a stern talking-to. She was secretly pleased that she got to spend more time with you… even if it meant chasing down some poor subordinates to make sure her jobs actually got done properly.)

Windrise is the first place that Jean likes to take you. If it’s a warm day out, she’ll pack a picnic and spread it underneath the shade of the trees. There, she’ll tell you stories; about Vennessa, about the origins of the Gunnhildr Clan, about her own adventures during her early years as a knight.

Sometimes she will reminisce with you about when you were a kid, clinging to her arm. She’ll tell you about how as soon as you learned to walk, you would follow her around like a little duckling, one tiny fist clutching the hem of her jacket. When you got a little older, you joined her in her preparation to become a proper noble, sitting beside her in etiquette lessons and observing from the sidelines during her knightly training. Even if the lessons were painfully dull, she’d always try and keep you entertained with little games to pass the time—or as much as she could without your mother staring in disapproval.

By the time she’s done with her stories, the day would have already almost finished.

It’s pleasant; peaceful in the way that one can’t grasp the flow of time until hours have past and the two of you are curled up on a picnic blanket under a sky full of stars.

She takes you for meals at Good Hunter too, letting you order whatever is on the menu. If there isn’t anything there to your liking (or if you’re just not feeling up for it that day) she is quick to whisk you home and cook you something herself.

It’s calming for her, when she’s able to direct all her focus into one manageable task like putting together a meal. She likes pizza best—a simple, delicious meal that she can put together with minimal effort and something she can easily share with her sibling.

When the day ends, and she must go home, she’ll give you a tight hug and kiss the top of your head, with a promise that you’ll spend the day together again soon.

ROSARIA

No. 1 protective sister right here.

Like, good luck to anyone who even thinks of hurting you. Their graves are already dug by the time they turn your way.

She made a promise, after all: no matter what happened, she would protect you.

It was first made when she was only a young girl, holding an even younger child in her arms. She brought you closer, squeezing her eyes shut and whispering the words into your hair. You were far too young to realise what the words truly meant, but you would come to learn their meaning as you got a little bit older and the remote village you both called home was massacred.

The bandits that took her in were apprehensive about the tiny child clinging to her leg. After all, it’s one thing to teach a little girl how to become a crook, let alone a literal toddler. But Rosaria refused to part with you, baring her teeth and yelling and screaming at anyone who even dared to suggest leaving you behind.

Your role was their errand person, mostly. While Rosaria made sure you were seen as the smaller and feebler of the pair, letting you drift away to the shadows of the crew, she also passed on everything she learned: lockpicking, thievery, and most importantly combat.

The bandits taught her how to fight, and she taught you. It was a compromise; keeping their contact with you minimal while also teaching you the skills you needed to survive in your new life.

(Even if you rarely got to use your newfound skills. Anyone who even tried to cause you trouble were swiftly taken care of by Rosaria.)

In her eyes she was doing you a favour; if you were treated as weak and insignificant, they would forget about you. And if they forgot about you, they were less likely to hurt you.

It was a blessing from Lord Barbatos himself when the group of bandits was taken down by the Knights of Favonius, and you were both swept away from the life of bloodshed and carnage that you had spent your entire childhood surrounded by. When you faced the Grand Master, you were considered young enough and inexperienced enough to be pardoned, while Rosaria began rehabilitation via the Church of Favonius.

These days, your lives are far less hectic than your youth.

During her free time (or rather the time spent slacking off on her duties) Rosaria slips away from the Church and sweeps you away for a day of bonding. If you need more clothes, she’ll drag you to every store in Mondstadt looking for something that fits you just right. It’s a sweet gesture, even if she brutally critiques your fashion choices. It’s out of love, I swear.

She also likes to just sit quietly with you, comfortably existing next to each other.  

Rosaria isn’t big on affection, but whenever she knows you won’t see each other for a long period of time, she’ll embrace you tightly and murmur a promise into your hair just like when you were kids.

“No matter what, no one will ever hurt you.”

LISA

When it comes to her loved ones, Lisa is a big fan of pet names, particularly the overly sappy ones.

Sweetheart, cutie, love—no matter who it is, anyone who is close to Lisa has probably been called at least one term of endearment in their life.

But while she has a variety of names for her favourite people, she has a habit of mentally assigning each person a different nickname that is exclusive for them.

Jean is her darling. The traveller is her cutie. Razor is her sweetie. You’re the only one to end up with two names.

There’s her most frequent one, dear.

“Oh, would you pass me that book, dear?”

If she’s feeling particularly affectionate, she’ll switch it to precious.

“(Name), my precious, are you feeling alright?”

Either way, there’s always a light teasing and subtle edge of fondness to her words when she talks to you.  

Good luck if you ever try going to her for romantic advice. She may give the most wonderful, effective guidance in the world, but it will be accompanied with heavy teasing and not-so-subtle prompts to divulge more details about your love life.

Even if you’re not interested in romance, she still finds ways to tease you.

Rest assured that despite her tormenting, she knows when to step back. She’s always been perceptive of other’s emotions, so as soon as she notices you getting upset at her words, she is already smoothly shifting the conversation to something more comfortable.

When you’re tired, she’ll let you take a nap in the library, either resting your head on your arms at her desk or curled up on one of the couches in the library. After chuckling at you (and making a mental note to tease you later about falling asleep so abruptly), she will fetch a blanket and tuck it over your shoulders.

Archons help anyone who even tries to wake you up. The library patrons learned to fear the wrath of the librarian a long time ago, and anyone who dares to disturb your peace will face the pain of Electro.

You become slightly feared in general, if only by being so closely affiliated with such an intimidating woman. If Lisa manages to get you to help track down some books, it only takes one threat of calling her to get the person to panic and hurriedly accept the late fee.

Lisa is thoroughly pleased with your work when you return, and might even treat you to some Sticky Honey Roast from Good Hunter if you’re lucky.

Overall, Lisa is a great sister. She adores her sibling more than anything, and that is what counts.

SUCROSE

Sucrose is such a sweet big sister!

She’s not the best at comforting others, but she is an amazing listener. Come to her with any of your worries, and she’ll nod along and consider your words carefully, only interrupting to suggest a solution to whatever is going on in your life.

She’s also willing to just give you a hug while you work through whatever emotions that you’re dealing with.

Speaking of which, Sucrose is a 10/10 hugger.

She will squeeze you just the right amount and rub circles into your back while she murmurs comforting words. Hugging her feels so safe and warm, like in her arms you’re sheltered from anything that could hurt you.

If you show even the slightest interest in her work, she will be thrilled. It only takes one question, a simple ‘what are you doing?’ to get her to vibrate with excitement and ask eagerly if you want to hear about her work.

She gets very rambly in her explanations but give her a little patience and she’ll go through her process, step by step. She’s more than willing to have you observe her experiments, and even participate in them if you’re confident enough to.

Sucrose is very insistent on you taking good care of yourself. She knows the detrimental effects a lack of sleep can have on a person’s health, so she makes sure you get a good rest every night, and lightly scolds you for staying up too late. On nights when you can’t sleep, she’ll make you a soothing cup of tea, and tell you stories to lull you into a slumber.

When you were younger, she would tell you all kinds of stories. With just her words, she could weave epic tales and colourful worlds, all from her own imagination. As she grew older and began her interest in alchemy, she strove to create a wonderland of her own, and make the fairy tales you loved become a reality.

Her research still has a long way to go, but rest assured she will keep going, to make your stories a reality.

EULA

Just like Rosaria, Eula is the sister who would not let anything happen to her sibling.

She won’t stand for anyone acting snobbishly towards you for your Lawrence heritage. When it comes to herself, she doesn’t care what others have to say about her. She accepted their distrust of her a long time ago, and their words do not affect her anymore.

But her sibling? Her precious, innocent baby sibling? Who has never done anything wrong in their entire life? Who doesn’t deserve a single one of the hostile remarks that they face simply for their lineage.

That simply will not slide.

She knows what it is like to be a social pariah—she was forced to become one ever since she was born into an aristocratic family—but she despises the fact that you have to go through the same thing. It only fuels her desire for vengeance, seeing someone who she knows is a good person being ostracised for no reason. She can’t help but wonder, ‘Why wasn’t I enough? If you must make someone your martyr, then why couldn’t you have settled with only hating me? Why do you have to drag another innocent person into it?’

She is well aware that her demeanour causes others to distrust her more, but at least it makes you look more palatable in comparison. Maybe if they do see her as the worst of you both, they’ll see you as a perfectly respectable person, rather than simply a Lawrence. Besides, she doesn’t owe anyone any kindness, not when none was shown to her.

Other than being a bit overprotective, Eula also adores teaching her sibling new things.

It started with bladework—an essential skill, as she called it. According to her, everyone should have at least one weapon they’re proficient in, and for you she chose swords. Catalysts were always too finicky for her, she’d never been fond of long-distance weapons like bows, and both claymores and polearms were too heavy for you at that age, so swords were the best option.

Soon enough, you were as skilled in Favonius Bladework as any knight. She was rather proud of how quickly you picked up the skill.

The one thing she is most enthusiastic for you to learn is dancing. I think if you asked her to teach you, she would have trouble hiding just how excited she is.

Despite having an open distaste for aristocratic traditions, the Dance of Sacrifice is one that she will always cherish. It is the one custom that feels close to her, and one that she only shares with the most important of people.

So of course she will share it with you.

Eula may act aloof and cold most of the time, but if you surprise her with a hug, she will simply melt. Physical affection (affection in general, actually) wasn’t given freely in your house growing up, so whenever she gets it, Eula doesn’t quite know how to react, other than embracing you back tightly.

(That privilege of being able to come that close to her without asking is strictly only tolerated by you. Anyone else, and she would have sworn vengeance ten times over.)

reblogs and comments are appreciated! ♡

[the-bisexual-bitch]

When I was a kid, I was a big reader. I loved reading. I really prided myself in being able to read anything. I read really quickly, too, I could consume hundreds of pages in a day or two. I was the only battle kid who read all of the books, and I loved just about every book that was put in front of me.

Throughout battle, I found many of my favorites: favorite books, styles, and authors. There was one book, though, that I hated. I found it horrendously dull, truly awful. I trudged my way through it solely for the goat's perspective and bragging rights. I was a 2nd grade gifted (autistic) kid in a club I wasn't supposed to be allowed in for the next year who was constantly seeking the approval of my teachers and older peers, what do you expect from me?

As I've gotten older, that's started to happen more often. Stories don't capture my attention as quickly. I can't really remember the last time I finished a book. I can count 3, right now, that I can see, that I got almost all of the way through before the passion just... died. Fanfiction, long ones, even, are easier, but it still takes ten times as long as it used to. I have shelves full of books surrounding me, books on my desk and stacked on my floor and in every travel bag I've ever taken.

It's depressing.

I love reading. I always have, and I still do. Words are my one true passion. Reading is a gorgeous, deeply creative experience, and I love it more than anything else.

And I look at my past self and just have to think... what happened to me? That 2 year old that dragged their dad to the couch in the corner of the den to read Harry Potter to them? That weird little kindergartener who's only friend they found with their favorite books? That 3rd grader who skipped recess just to sit under the slide and read? That 5th grader who stayed up for just one more chapter til it was morning?

It feels like that person is dead. He isn't dead, he can't be, I can pick up a book and get absorbed into it's world, still... but it happens less and less.

I wonder, if I met that little "tomboy" in his jeans and wolf hoodie that his mom screenprinted for him, holding a book he could barely carry because it was so heavy, if he would be disappointed in me.

I'm going to read tomorrow morning. I'm going to read until I can't, until I'm tired and need to sleep and eat and move.

Maybe I'll make that lonely little boy proud.

[wildemaven]

fall apart, again : interlude - a letter to joel | joel miller

-> pairing: joel miller x ofc!genevieve

-> wc: 1001

-> content warning: 18+ blog; angst, alluding to loss, post outbreak, reader is Joel’s wife, reader has a name but has zero descriptive features,

-> a/n: I kind of abandoned this series and didn’t really have any plans to finish it. It felt good where they ended in chapter 3 so I was just going to call it good. But then I was reading through the chapters and kind of found some inspiration to write something for them again. Big thank you to @gnpwdrnwhiskey for always listening and encouraging and fixing my writing!!

series masterlist / playlist

previous / next

Joel,

Feels weird to be sitting here, on our bed, in our home. I guess I should mention we made it back to Austin— Steve and I. 

I met Steve in the ER in Laredo on the evening of the outbreak— he lost his wife. We managed to make it out of there together and promised to keep each other safe. He heard there’s a QZ in Denver, so we’re making our way north. 

I made him promise to stop in Austin. I just had to see for myself, see if there was a chance you and Sarah might still be here— alive. 

Like I said, it feels weird to be here. Seeing our house in this state. Disheveled and abandoned, but still feeling very much like the place we thought we’d live forever. It’s like a personal landmark now, for what once was such a beautiful home filled with so many beautiful memories. Maybe it’s more of a mausoleum of sorts. Kind of morbid, but also very true. ‘Here lies the Millers, before the world went to shit.’

Except, I’m here and you’re not. 

I think the worst part of all of this is not knowing if you’re okay. Steve says I have to accept that there’s a chance that you’re not, that any worst case scenario that I have lost sleep over, might be my reality. But I refuse to accept that. So, I silently pretend that you are okay. That you have managed to get Sarah and yourself, and hopefully Tommy, to safety. You’re somewhere out there protecting our baby girl and staying strong for her like you’ve always done. 

I feel like I’m rambling. My thoughts are just all over the place being here and thinking of you. Or maybe I’m just dragging out my time here because the minute I leave, it will be like a final goodbye to this place— and I don’t think I’m ready for it just yet. 

It’s like I can still smell the faint musk of your cologne in the air. Like you’ll walk through our bedroom door, pulling your keys and wallet from your jeans and tossing them on the dresser, all while telling me about some mishap on a job site that set you back a few days. I can just see that grumpy look you wear so well. Then, when you’ve let it all out, you instantly soften when you finally look at me sitting on our bed and then you’re apologizing for boring me with your work bullshit. I would listen to your work bullshit every single day if it meant we could be together again. 

When I got here, it was like I was being pulled into Sarah’s room. I sat there for a while, remembering all the times we had laid there with her reading her bedtime stories until she would fall asleep. I miss our dance parties while we would wait for you to come home, her insisting I had zero rhythm anytime one of her little boy band hits came on and I attempted to keep up with her choreographed routine she had memorized. I’m taking a few things of hers, I hope that’s okay. I don’t think I can come back here and I want to have something of hers. 

I found your ring on our dresser. Don’t worry I’m not mad you aren’t wearing it. Gosh, I can’t believe I would get so worked up over seeing it laying there instead of on your finger. I know how much it bothered you wearing it to work and worrying about losing it or getting it caught on something, and yet I would still get annoyed over it. But, maybe you weren’t meant to wear it so I could find it today, so I could have a piece of you with me always. 

I guess I should wrap this up. I know how much you love when I can go on and on about anything. 

I will write to you. Whenever I get the chance. To Sarah, too. I’ll keep writing to you both for as long as I can. 

I love you Joel. I always have. And I always will. Wherever you are, I just hope you know that. 

Forever and always,

Eve 

*

“Hey, Genevieve— ya doin’ okay up there?” Steve calls up from downstairs. 

“Yeah! Just give me a sec! I’ll be right down.” You try to hide your pain as you respond, wiping the few tears sprinkled across your cheeks. 

You fold your letter to Joel, placing it securely in an envelope you had found next to the pile of printer paper you tucked away with the items of Sarah’s in your pack. You push yourself off the bed, walking around to the side where Joel slept since the day you moved in. You run your handover the indentation in his pillow, remembering how much you loved to wake up before him just so you could watch him sleep. 

Lifting the corner of his pillow, you gently place the letter underneath it. The last place you talked to him, is the first place you’ll write to him. You imagine he’s laying there, sleeping peacefully when you kiss the top of his pillow. 

Grabbing your pack off the bed, you take one last look at the space, your heart clenching at the finality of this visit. You force your legs to move towards the direction of the door, stopping briefly at the dresser to grab Joel’s ring, tucking it into one of your packs inner pockets safely. 

Steve is sitting on the couch when you finally make it downstairs. His patience is something you’ve appreciated since the day you met. He knew how much stopping here meant to you, and he told you to take as much time as you needed. 

“All good?” He asks once you’ve stepped off the last step. 

“No, but it will be, I think.” You tell him as you make your way out the front door. 

[jaabane]

Little Red Book Part 1 - Neil Perry x fem! OC

Introduction: This is my first post so be aware of that! Also english is not my first lenguage so we'll see how this goes.

Warnings: my english, in this story Welton has an all girls school aswell that is in a seperate building next to the boys school.

Summary: "You never talk anything but nonsense! Nobody ever does." The story of how Neil Perry fell in love with that beautiful girl that always had her face buried in this little red book.

Monday Morning

Another year at Hellton. Nothing out of the ordinary.

Neil just sat down in his seat in Mr. Keatings class with the rest of the dead poets. The lesson went by normal. That is, if you can define Mr. Keatings classes as normal.

Towards the end of the lesson, Mr. Keating had a rather interesting announcement to make.

"Now boys, I have exciting news for you. For the duration of this semester, I want all of you to research about any writer. Could be an author, or a poet." he said. The boys began to whisper about the upcoming project. Neil could already hear some of his classmates arguing about the people they wanted to research about. His attention however, was full on Mr. Keating.

"Settle down boys, I'm not finished yet." he stated. "Every one of you will get a partner. This is a two person project, which you will have to present at the end of the semester." The chatter began again, this time louder than before.

"Sir can we decide who our partner is?" Charlie asked loudly as he had to talk over the whole class.

That question seemed to make all of the boys go quiet. All eyes now on Mr. Keating again.

"As I was about to say. You are not the only class that is going to do this project. I will partner every one of you up with a girl from my class at the Welton all girls academy. You will meet your partner next lesson on wednesday." he said and with that, the belll rang signaling for the boys to go to their next class.

Time skip, the dead poets are hanging out outside

"Which of these girls do you think will be our partners?" Charlie asked, eyeing the girls that were also outside right now.

That's when Neil first noticed her. She was sitting on a blanket. Her back leaning against a tree. She was wearing a pair of dark blue flared jeans and a maroon coloured hoodie. Her fluffy looking brunette hair that only reached her shoulders hung slightly in her face. Which was buried in a little red book that she was reading.

"Neil? You there?" Todd asked. He noticed his best freind zoning out.

"You looking at a pretty girl Mr. Perry?" Charlie teased. "What? No. Why would you think that?" Neil asked, his attention now full on his friends.

They all just laughed and the conversation changed course again.

However, as Neil turned his head to look at the pretty girl again, he noticed she was gone.

The following day he did not see the girl anywhere. Or maybe he did, he could not see much of her face because of the book.

Damn that little red book. He thought to himself as he met up with his friends wednesday morning to go to their english class.

Somehow they found themselves in the lunch hall, waiting for Mr. Keating to come back with their partners.

pov switch

I was nervous. What if my partner didn't like me? As my head filled itself with more and more doubts my friend Becca put her hand on my shoulder.

"Relax, it's not like you never saw a boy before." she said.

"No, but what if he doesn't like me and then I'm stuck with him for an entire semester?" I said, Worry clearly visible in my eyes.

However, we did not have time to finish our conversation as Mr. Keating opened the door to the lunch hall and we bagan to enter. I purposefully hid in the back of the crowd as Mr. Keating started talking.

"Let's start, shall we? Now, I will read the names of the partners out loud. If you hear your name being called, please proceed to come forward to meet your partner. I will first read the boys name and then the girls. When you have found your partner, please choose one of the tables here to start with the project, I want everyone to decide on a writer they want to present today." he said cheerfully.

Pair after Pair found themselves and went ahead to sit at one of the many tables in the lunch hall. Becca was still standing next to me when I was called.

"Next we have, Mr. Neil Perry and Ms. Stefanie Krammer. Please come forward." Mr. Keating said as Becca shoved me a little to get me going.

Neil could not believe his eyes, before him stood the girl from monday afternoon.

"Hi" he said a little breathless

"Hi" she answered with a shy smile.

"You want to go sit down?" he asked.

"Yeah sure." she answered as the two began to walk to a table.

As they sat down, Neil noticed Charlie looking at him and wiggle his eyebrows. Neil just grinned and focused on the girl next to him. Now he could finally look at her face properly, her dark blue eyes were even more beautiful than he imagined. They even looked like a mixture of dark blue and grey. He could not stop looking at them.

Stefanie, the name suits her, he thought.

She began to unpack her things from her bag. That's when he noticed the little red book as she placed it on the table.

"The Importance of Being Earnest by Oscar Wilde." he read out loud.

"That's what you were reading on monday." he said before he could stop himself.

"You saw me on monday?" she said, looking surprised. When I saw Neil with his friends on monday I didn't think he noticed me at all.

"Yeah, you were reading by a tree right?" he asked.

"Yeah I was." I answered.

"That book is very little." Neil said as he looked at it again.

"That doesn't stop it from having a lot of content." I said.

"Really? How's that?" he asked, intruiged.

"Well firstly it would be because it is actually a play, not an ordinary book." I said, confidently telling him about my favourite book.

At that point, Neil was even more intruiged. She liked reading plays, perfect.

"And do you only read plays or do you also act in them?" he asked.

"Oh god no. Acting is not for me, I almost had a panic attack when I had to sing a solo in choir in 9th grade." I told him.

He laughed. "Really? I love acting, I was in a play last year. Even got the main part." he said.

"That's so cool, but I can Imagine what your parents must have thought of that. They don't send their kids here with little expectations for them." I said, looking down.

Neil nodded.

"Let's do our presentation about Oscar Wilde. Maybe I could act as him at the end of the semester hm?" he said, trying to change te topic back to our project.

I laughed.

"I'm sure Mr. Keating would love that." I said, laughing a little.

At that point, Mr. Keating stopped by our desk to ask us if we decided on a writer yet.

"Yes, we would like to present about Oscar Wilde, Captain." Neil said.

"Good choice. Stefanie, I wouldn't expect anything else." he said with a knowing smile as he walked away.

Thats Part 1 guys! Hope you liked it!

I'm not sure when the next part is coming since I am in the middle of my exam season but I estimate it's next week or the week after.

Thanks for reading and have a great day!

[starsstuddedsky]

What? Like It’s Hard? [teaser]

gn reader x soonyoung

summary: With the help of a little bit of bleach, Soonyoung is certified legally blonde–complete to last minute-dedication to scoring as high as Elle Woods on the LSAT. While he has no interest in law school, he’s notorious for never turning down a dare. So how does a frat bro in serious danger of failing his senior year get a 179? He asks the smartest person he knows. 

Or, studying for a law test has never seen this much chemistry.

genre: fluff, angst, non-idol au, uni au, friends to lovers, opposites attract

warnings (full fic): swearing, drinking, food, arguing, refusal to acknowledge feelings, what's the word for beyond oblivious????

teaser wc: 1.7k

full wc: ~20k

a/n: hello my lovely readers!! i heavily debated posting this because there's always a chance that i just. never finish it, however i really love this story, so i don't think that will happen. that said, i have no idea when the full fic will be posted. (to my delight) my summer is extremely busy and i fear the fall semester will be as well, but i toil away slowly at this fic and one day it shall be posted <3 i hope you enjoy and are as excited as i am for the full story!

another teaser bc writing this is taking a while :)

want to join the taglist? just send an ask <3

“Nope.” You grab your backpack, shoving your laptop inside, but he gets to your water bottle before you can reach it. 

“Come on.” Soonyoung pouts his lips. 

“I won’t do it,” you say. 

Soonyoung hugs your water bottle hostage against his chest, dark blue against the pale pink sweater he wears. It’s an unusual choice for him, normally clad in baggy jeans and loose t-shirts. Still, the color highlights his hair, blonde bordering on white. Knowing Soonyoung, it was probably a dare. 

“Please! I’m desperate!” He cries again, stepping closer, though he keeps a firm grip on your water bottle. You never should have told him how emotionally attached you are to it; you should have known it would be held against you. 

“No,” you say. You sling your backpack on, just in case he gets any other ideas. You’re starting to attract attention from the people in the library who are actually there to study (which included you, until Soonyoung arrived). So you grab him by the arm, rolling your eyes at how he jerks his water bottle out of reach. 

“Walk and talk, we’re not doing this here,” you say, folding your arms over your chest. 

“Come on, how hard can it be?” Soonyoung asks. “It’s just a test.”

“Just a test?” You snort. “Soonyoung, you are aware that most people that apply to law school don’t do it on a dare?” 

“I don’t have to get into law school!” He says. “Just get a 179 on the LSAT.” 

You shake your head, trying to plan how to get the water bottle from him. Maybe you should consider it a lost cause and just swing by the bookstore to get a new one instead. But that water bottle has butterfly stickers that survived freshman year and a dent from the time Jun tried to use it as a weapon in a fight against Jihoon (that was declared a draw when the bottle busted open and doused both of them equally); it holds memories better than water and you’ll be damned if you let Soonyoung hold it hostage. 

“That’s actually harder,” you mumble. From the corner of your eye, you can see him tucking the blue bottle under his right arm, farthest from you. He won’t make this easy, especially since you saw the poorly disguised thirst trap of him and one of his frat brothers at the gym: those arms are not to be underestimated. 

“I’ll pay you!” 

“With what money?” 

Soonyoung pauses. You’ve reached the exit by now, sunlight warming you through the glass doors. He turns to the sunlight, and you know he’s pretending to be a main character from an artsy film. He takes a deep breath, as if he already regrets what he has to say next. 

“Okay, I’ll offer you the only services I have.” He turns his head to face you, eyes on the floor. 

“Oh my god Soonyoung!” You shove his shoulder. “You are not selling your body for a test!” 

“But it’s all I know!” He says. He pokes your arms. “You could have so much muscle if you lifted just twice a week.” 

“Oh.” You blink at him. “You meant working out?” 

“Wait what did you think I meant?” 

You feel heat rush into your cheeks. You push the door open, praying Soonyoung doesn’t notice. “It doesn’t matter,” you say, not daring to check if he’s following. “I don’t have time to workout.” 

“Then what do you want?” Soonyoung asks. He stays just out of reach, adjusting his grip so that the water bottle hangs from his hand. “Please, I’ll do anything!” 

“Why do you need me?” 

“Because you’re the smartest person I know.” He says without hesitation. In the three years of your friendship, you’ve learned that the only time Soonyoung isn’t serious is when he flirts. 

“You are,” he insists. “Plus you’ve already taken it, so you’re my best chance. My only chance, it’s not like I have a good track record with tests.” He gives you a lopsided smile as he tries to pretend like he’s joking. But Soonyoung has always been easy to read. You can see the sparkle in his eyes dim, and you remember freshman Soonyoung, when he failed the midterm and holed up in his room in the frat house for two full days, not even venturing out to party. It’s that damn sparkle that gets to you. He isn’t paying attention anymore, water bottle hanging loosely from his hand, but you can’t bring yourself to snatch it. 

“You can pass it,” you say with a sigh. “It’s about studying correctly.” 

“I don’t know,” Soonyoung says. “I’ve never really studied.” 

“Well, that’s what I’ll teach you.” 

Soonyoung freezes, grabbing your arm. “Seriously?” When you turn to face him, his smile is so bright it warms you from the inside out, hotter than the actual sun on your skin. He throws his arms around you, wrapping you in a hug so tight he lifts you off the ground. Your heart does this strange thing where it hops into your throat. Your arms come up as a reflex but his embrace is too tight for you to even hug him back.  

“Thank you, thank you, thank you!” He shouts. He doesn’t let go, even when he sets you back down. He loosens his arms just enough to look at you, the full force of his smile directed at you. “I swear you’re welcome at the frat house any time, I’ll buy you anything you want when I have money, I’ll drive you wherever you want if I can get Seungcheol’s car, I’ll do whatever, just thank you, thank you, thank you.” 

You know you should answer, or say something, but thinking is too much when he’s so close you can smell the strangely sweet combination of laundry detergent, cologne, and sweat. You push out of his arms, snagging your water bottle on the way out. 

“It’s whatever,” you mumble. Though his arms aren’t around you anymore, you feel strangely hot, like your blood is boiling, and your heart still pounds. 

“It is not whatever,” Soonyoung declares. “I swear, whatever you want, I’ll do it.” He holds a hand over his heart and if it was anyone else you’d think they were joking but it’s Soonyoung, which means he’s deadly serious. 

You can’t handle his gaze anymore, turning to study your beat up sneakers. “Really? You’ll get Jun to return my first edition copy of Pride and Prejudice?” 

“I’ll get that book back.” He glances at you. “It is a book, right?” 

“Yeah,” you say. “Though there’s been some good adaptations.” 

“That’s the one with the zombies?” 

“Zombies?” You frown. “Oh my god, do you mean Pride and Prejudice and Zombies?” 

“That’s not the original book?” 

“No,” you say, laughing. “The original is my Jane Austen, in the 1800s.” 

“Oh,” Soonyoung says. 

“I’ve actually never seen that one,” you say. “It’s the only adaptation I haven’t seen.” 

“How many movies are there?” 

“Well, there’s the 1940 adaptation, the BBC series that’s widely regarded as the most faithful adaptation, the 2005 Kiera Knightley movie that stands iconic, plus the Lizzie Bennet Diaries, which is a vlog-style Youtube adaptation. Then of course there’s Jane Austen’s other works, like Persuasion, which, the new one, for the record, was a terrible adaptation.” You stop when you realize you’re dangerously close to going on what Jihoon calls ‘an Austen tirade.’ 

“I liked the movie,” he says after a pause. “I don’t know if it was that good, or close to the books. But it was fun.” 

“I’ll have to watch it, then,” you say. “I know it’s the obvious choice, but Pride and Prejudice really is my favorite Jane Austen novel. Good luck getting it back from Jun though. He’s studying abroad this semester.” 

“He’s the friend from your history class?” 

“No, that’s Jihoon, my roommate,” you say. “Jun was in my language class.” 

“I thought you hated everyone in that class.” 

“Oh believe me, I do,” you say. “But Jun is friends with Jihoon, so he sort of just became my friend too.” 

Soonyoung hums, saying nothing else. You don’t recognize the song, though you tend to mostly listen to classical music when you study or whatever Jihoon blasts from his room, so it’s not that surprising. The melody is nice, though. Well, Soonyoung’s voice is. 

“I really am grateful,” Soonyoung says. “I know I was begging, because I don’t think I can do this without you–well, I don’t know if I can do it with you, but you’re my only hope and–I’m rambling again.” He flashes a smile. “The point is, thank you.” 

You shrug, feeling shy under his gaze. “It’ll help me study anyways,” you say. “You learn a lot when you teach.” 

“I thought you already took it?”

“I only got a 150,” you say, sighing. “I need at least a 165.” 

Soonyoung nods, forehead creasing like it always does when he’s lost in thought. “Thank you anyway.”

“Well, you swore to do whatever I tell you,” you say, desperate to change the subject. “Don’t think I won’t abuse that.” 

“Oh, YN,” he says slyly. “I’m counting on it.” He even winks. 

You cough, choking at the outright flirting. Soonyoung hasn’t tried a line on you in so long you thought he’d used them all. He isn’t serious, it was engraved in his DNA the second he became a fully fledged member of Sigma Beta Tau but it’s not like many people flirt with you, so it’s hard to stop your heart from jumping. 

You check your phone, unable to look him in the eyes. It’s 2:18 now, prime naptime if you can get back to your apartment before Jihoon gets back. But if it’s past two, unless he lied to you at the start of the semester, that means Soonyoung should be in his data ethics class. “Hey, don’t you have class right now?” 

“Shit.” Soonyoung takes off. He sprints across the grass, dodging three picnics and narrowly avoiding getting rocked in the back of the head by a frisbee. He pauses at the edge, turning back around to wave wildly at you. 

“Thank you!” He shouts. The picnickers glance between you and him and you can feel the blush returning. Soonyoung doesn’t notice all the eyes on him, waving like a goofball one final time before sprinting off again.

[andydrysdalerogers]

To The Limit - Four

F1 Racer Johnny Storm x OFC Maya Levinson

Summary: He's been away from the sport for 2 years. He has 24 races to prove he belongs here. There are two things that could derail this: his family and her.

She's the one thing he is willing to push to the limit for.

This a sequel to my original story, "Following Team Orders" If you want to get caught up in my Formula One world, you can find it HERE

The tag list is open!

Future Warnings: references to a partner's death, cheating (but not by the MCs,) alcohol consumption, SMUT!, angst, racing incidents, language, grief, etc.

Moon Dividers by @firefly-graphics

Car divider and Banners by me!

Previous Chapter: Three

Story Master List // Main Master List

I do NOT give permission for my work to be translated or reposted on here or any other site, even if you give me credit. DO NOT REPOST MY FICS. Reblogs, comments, likes, and feedback ALWAYS appreciated

Johnny 

As to be expected, Bahrain was a train wreck.  The only positive is that I didn’t wreck the car.  Finishing 12th was by far the most humbling experience I’ve had in the sport. I’ve done press, showered, changed, made sure Susie was ok at the hotel and then head into Ari’s office. It's like being sent to the principal’s office but with your livelihood up in the air. I knock before I hear, “come on in.”  The room is a typical office if not for all the Mercedes paraphernalia.  The only thing I don’t spot are his WDC trophies.  

“You wanted to meet with me?” 

“Yeah, just waiting on Maya.  You did good today.”  

“If you say so,” I reply in a rather sullen tone.  I’m not used to losing so badly.  Sure, I finished behind Red Bull and Mercedes plenty of times, but it was at least a top ten.  

“Give it time Johnny. The engineers are working on upgrades and Bahrain is not an easy track.”  

“Yeah, I know.” Just then Maya rushes in, failing to knock or wait for Ari’s ok.  

“Maya! Seriously...” 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I’ve just been rushing around since the race ended and I thought I was going to be super late and...” 

I grab her hand to stop her. “Breathe Maya. I try to be 10 minutes early to everything.” I let go and look at Ari. “Since, well,” I hesitate and just move along, “I just make my schedule that everything is 10 minutes earlier than it is.  Helps keep me organized.”  

Ari nods. “I’ve notice. And I appreciate it. Let’s get started.”  

An hour later, and I think we’ve discussed every part of my life except one. But Ari knew that I didn’t want that part to be involved until I was ready.  I appreciate that so much. My personal life is essentially nonexistent now but with having to do promotional work for the team and the brand I know I can’t keep it hidden forever.  

“Ok, so your handler, Robert, will coordinate your schedule with your PA for the next few weeks,” Maya rattles off. “And In Saudia Arabia we have the social media video with George. Maybe you guys can try and do lunch sometime soon. Get to know each other better.”  

“I can do that.” I rub my sweaty palms on my jeans. The list of things I’m scheduled to do is triggering the new anxiety that I’ve developed since that day with Molly. I picture her in my head, and it calms me.  Especially when Luna, fuck, Maya’s voice begins again.  Her light and airy voice is rather soothing.  

“Johnny, if you need a break, just tell me, ok?  I know  its been a while and the anxiety is written all over your face.”  

Fuck, I need to get a grip. “Sorry.” 

“Don’t apologize,” Ari says. “That’s why I wanted to meet with Maya.  She can get way into her work and forget that the rest of are human.” He shoots a wink at his sister while she scowls.  

“That is a blatant lie, Ari and you know it.” She turns back to me.  “I know that it can be overwhelming but just let me or Robert know and we’ll handle it.”  

“Thanks.”  

Ari claps his hands.  “I think we are good. I’ll see you.” I stood up and exited out, walking towards my driver room.  I got a text as I walked.  

Susie: sorry about earlier.  I hope that we didn’t throw you off.  Johnny: you didn’t. I’m just getting used to the car,  

“Johnny?” I spun around to see Maya behind me. “Can we talk?” She chewed her plump bottom lip and I had to fight the groan that rose out of my chest. I hadn’t felt like this in a long time.  

I cleared my throat.  “Yeah, let's go to my driver room.” We walk side by side in silence. Its awkward as hell but I have a feeling she wants it that way. Shit, I don’t know exactly what I want. I have too many balls in the air to balance to get one more going.  I unlock my door and usher her in. I lock the door and look at her. “I’m not really sure what to say.”  

“You probably have a lot of questions,” Maya started.  

“Kinda.” I slide my hands in my pockets. “I assume you knew who I was.” She nodded. “Why not tell me who you were?” 

“I like the anonymity of it all. I wasn’t Ari Levinson’s sister. You saw me as Luna. It was a freeing experience. I mean, nepotism is a bitch, especially being a woman in a man’s sport.  Look how hard everything is for Olivia. She just wants a family with her husband and can’t do that without inciting some sort of uproar.” 

“I get it Luna, I do.” I look at my feet. “I guess you heard about what happened with me and Ferrari.” 

She nodded. “I did. I didn’t think inserting myself into your life at that moment would have been wise.”  

“Not really, no. There is so much that you don’t know Luna. Fuck.. Maya, sorry.”  

“It's ok. I like that you call me Luna.”  

My mouth tips into a smile. “That night is ingrained in my memory, Luna. One of the best nights of my life.”  

Two years ago 

“Wanna get out of here?” 

The offer hung in the air. I really like this girl. She was witty and gorgeous, and I wanted to get to know more.  She looked around before settling back on my face. She smiles. “Want to go to the hotel bar?” 

“Absolutely.” There was no way I would say no to her. She hooked her arm around mine and guided her out of the ballroom.  The Italian air was crisp, so I made us walk quickly into the bar.  She ordered for us swiftly in Italian, leaving me impressed. “You can speak Italian?” 

“Yeah, boarding school offers a lot of opportunities to learn.”  She sat on the stool in her gown, crossing her legs, flashing me a peek of smooth skin from the slit in her skirt. I groan in my head because all I want now is to drape that leg over my shoulder. But I mentally shake myself and focus on my Luna.  

“Sometimes, I think if I would have gone the school route if I didn’t become a racer,” I said, taking a sip.  

“Really? What would you have studied to become?” 

“A pilot. Specifically for NASA. I’d want to go up to space. See the stars.” I shrug. “I guess I always wanted to go fast but this time in a different direction.” 

Luna’s eyes twinkled. "I can see that. Always moving, seeing the universe close up.”  

“Wanna explore the universe with me, Luna?” 

Her phone buzzes and it brings me out of our memory. “Sorry,” she says, “I’m late for my... “ her voice tapers off as she types.  

“I’ll walk you out.” I shouldn’t feel bummed that I can’t spend more time with her.  She is my boss’s sister, and he made it clear. She is off-limits. But they didn’t call me Torch before if I didn’t push to the limit.  I walk her out of our hospitality, chatting about the next race when I hear someone call her name.  

“Maya!” I turn to see my replacement at Ferrari, Carlos Sainz. He’s catching her attention with a wave, and I wonder why. At least until he is closer, and he bends down to place a steamy kiss on her lips.  

Well then, I guess that is two reasons why we could never work.  

Maya 

“Maya, Carina!” Carlos flashes me his signature smile.  

“Hola Carlos!” I greet him back. He pulls me in, cups my cheek and kisses me hard.  It takes my breath away.  We let go of the kiss and touch foreheads. “Well done on third, Carlos.”  

“Gracias, querida.” (Thank you, darling). He looks up to see Johnny. “Ah, I don’t believe we have met yet. Carlos.”  

“Hey. Johnny.” The guys shake and I can feel tension coming from Johnny. “Sorry if I made Luna late. Our meeting with Ari ran a little long. Just wanted to make sure she got to where she needed to go.”  

“Luna?” Carlos looks to me.  

“Yeah, the first time Johnny and I met was during a full moon.  Made a joke about ... uh... werewolves and he called me Luna.” I smile at Johnny, pleading with my eyes to follow along. Carlos is possessive when it comes to me.  

Johnny catches on, thank God. “Yeah, it was a really bad joke, especially the howl she gave.” He chuckles. “Anyway, I need to get back to the hotel and pack. It was nice meeting you, Carlos and I’m sure I will see you around. Luna, I just have that conference call with the sponsors tomorrow, right? 

“Yes, on the plane. Good night, Johnny.”  

“Night.”  He turns and walks away, not looking back at me. My gaze lingers for a second more before turning back to Carlos.  He is staring at me with an odd look on his face. “What?” 

“When did you meet him? I thought he was new to the team.”  

“I met him two years ago at the FIA gala.”  

“Do you see him often? You two seem rather close.” 

I frown, “no, that was actually the last time I saw him. He was out of Ferrari the next day and I didn’t see him again until this morning.”  

Carlos gave me a sigh, “hermosa, you must see that he desires you, si?” 

I shake my head. “No, you are mistaken.  Now, if you want to continue this discussion, we can but then we won’t have time together before my flight in the morning. And I had plans for us.” I kiss his chin and then up to his ear and breathe, “I’m also wearing Ferrari red.”  

Carlos groans. “Querida, you don’t play fair.”  He kisses me long and slow. “I can take you to my driver room and we can fun there.”  

“But then how will I be able to scream your name?” I ask his innocently, batting my lashes.  

“Mierda.” He picks me up and tosses me over his shoulder as I squeal. “Esta mujer sera mi muerte,” he mumbles as I giggle. (This woman will be the death of me.) He races to his car to whisk me back to the hotel.  

Saudia Arabia was better for Mercedes.  George found pace and finished third, our first podium finish of the season.  Johnny finished 10th, points for him.  When he climbs out of the car, I can see the frustration written on his face.  He went two years without a ride; however, his last ride led him get second in the championship. You could see the tension, the fear, the helplessness that he didn’t know what to do. The car is crap in his hands and has been since Cole crashed it.  

I pace in Ari’s office after the race.  “Ari, he needs the upgrades now.”  

“I know Maya but what would you like me to do? They aren’t ready and won’t be until we get back from Australia.”  

“They are crucifying him out there,” as I pointed out the door.  “He was one of the best before Ferrari threw him away. He could be a champion.”  

“Yes, he could, but not this year.  George has the pace, and we need to support that.” Ari stood up. “Maya I know that the spin is hard but that has never stopped you.  You can fix this.”  

“I need time with him to get the message out right. He’s a team player and he wants Mercedes to win, blah, blah, blah.”  

Ari sighs. “I’ll check with his PA when he would have time.  Take it easy on him Maya. You don’t know the whole story.”  

That is the second time someone has said that. I frown. “What don’t I know?” 

“That’s Johnny’s choice to tell.  He told me because I needed to know.”  

I cross my arms like a petulant child. “I can’t help him if he doesn’t trust me.”  

“Then make him trust you.  Now get out.  I have to debrief with the team principals and then get home. Go find your driver and talk to him.”  

I huff.  “Fine. I move to stomp out before I stop.  "Dinner on Wednesday?” 

Ari’s face softens. “Always M. Love you kiddo.”  

“Love you too, bro.” I walk out of the office and decide to see where Johnny is at. 

Maya: Are you still in the paddock?  Johnny: Yeah  Maya: Driver room?  Johnny: yeah 

I head to his driver room and knock on the door.  Johnny opens the door, shirtless, with just his jeans on. Holy racing god, the man is built. He’s got muscles that are defined, not cut per say but softer. My mind is in my vagina now, wanting to run a fingernail through each ab, all eight of them.  

“Luna?” 

I snap out of my daydream and blush furiously at being caught ogiling.  “Sorry! I, ah, just...” 

“You were checking me out, Luna," he says as he leans on the door frame, crossing his arms. I’m distracted again by the corded muscles flexing is his arms. Oh, I bet he could hold a woman in place with those as he.... 

“You’re doing it again.”  

What the fuck is wrong with me? “Ah sorry, I’m just all over the place.” I giggle but it comes out breathy.  Get it together Levinson.  “I wanted to see what your schedule was like so I can get some time with you about what Mercedes want their message to be.”  

“Oh, well I’m headed back to New York for a couple of days.  Have some appointments I can’t miss. But if you want to come to New York, we have a guest room or something.” 

“I wouldn’t want to impose. I can book something...” 

“Johnny!” We both turn to see a beautiful blonde head straight for Johnny.  But the unusual part is she’s holding an adorable baby in her arms. I really don’t know what to say because my brain can’t compute what I am seeing.  

Especially when the baby reaches for Johnny and he settles the baby on his hip before kissing the woman on the cheek, “Luna, this is my sister, Susie.  She’s also my assistant.”  

Oh, okay. This baby is her child. Ok I can deal with this, I think. Until...  

“And this is my son, Mattie.” 

NEXT

Taglist:

@patzammit

@texmexdarling

@slutforchrisjamalevans

@firephotogrl74

@tinkerbelle67

@before-we-get-started

@bunnyforhim

@alexakeyloveloki

@sunnyhummingbee

@whiskeytangofoxtrot555

@peaceinourtime82

@saucy-sassy-sparkly

@kmc1989

@kandis-mom

@lokislady82

@raven-blue3000

[hourafterhour]

hmmm actually i'd be so interested in hearing about why you hated tsc? i personally didn't hate it but thought it was very flawed and would love to hear your critiques <3

very long below!

starting more generally, i thought the structure of it was bizarre, especially the choice to start it where she did. rehashing the end of TKM in very minute detail from a new pov did nothing for me, and i don't think it's where this part of jean's story "starts" if that makes sense. i found a lot of parts really ham-fisted and poorly written, esp very sloppy/lazy/straight up bad characterization (jeremy giving the homeless man a gift card, lmao); and her reliance on very high drama plot points (surprise secret sister - that was when i could not believe what i was forcing myself to keep reading; also reacher showing up, other parts i've forgotten). i think this approach works so well in aftg, where the melodrama is crucial, but it fails here, and i got the impression that she didn't feel like she was telling (what should have been) a fundamentally different type of story in content and structure than aftg. using any of the very compelling interpersonal dynamics wrt jean in her original trilogy to build drama in a subtler way would have been so much more rewarding imo. "can jean make a life outside the nest” is the built in stakes of the story. can he survive what has happened and what comes next. no need to make it any more dramatic than that - those are pretty high dramatic stakes to me. to give a more specific example, i thought the scene abt jean having to relearn how to check because the way the ravens do it is dangerous was excellent, especially when jeremy explicitly tells him “you’re hurting me” and it’s still unclear if that will be enough to make jean resort to a style of gameplay that’s less effective. this is more along the lines of what i’d hope we’d get from this book — subtle moments that arise from this being a sports narrative and a recovery narrative, and the unique situation of jean being forced into intimacy with a new team (again, a situation that is already so dramatically rich!) 

but my main issue is that I think aftg is a pretty exceptional (and exceptionally unique) trauma narrative, and i think jean’s trauma was poorly written here from start to finish, and pretty unimaginative/cliche. my overwhelming thought while reading it is that it was a really poorly researched book. writing the perspective of a character IMMEDIATELY after release from years of captivity is an extraordinarily difficult task, and the way she tried to account for what his patterns of thinking would have adapted to under those conditions was paltry to me: “I am Jean Moreau. My place is at Evermore. I will endure.” — i was literally rolling my eyes. just a really depressing lack of depth of interiority wrt an experience that was already so rich and subtle in canon. the single line in tkm when abby says he's already tried to escape back to the nest twice was more complex and worth more to me than all of tsc

to give another specific example bc this is one part i remember well, i was so annoyed at the scene when jean offers his racquet to rhemann for punishment. like it's so lazy!!! it's so lazy. jean is not stupid, and i could have believed it if it was written as jean being confused/getting where he was and who he was with mixed up, but a crucial part of the ideology of the nest was that this was not like other teams, and their lifestyle is not ordinary, and this is necessary to make them better than everyone else. jean would be well aware that other people on most other teams do not get physically abused by their coaches, in front of the rest of their teammates, as a matter of course. like maybe that seems nitpicky, but this actually seems so essential to me. and there were so many other moments where it just didn't seem like any meaningful or interesting thought had been paid to how jean would have interpreted his own life, and i hated how she had to make him do things like this to make certain things about his past visible because she couldn't do it in more skillful ways

i was kind of withholding judgement through the first little bit, but the first scene with kevin really solidified that i would not enjoy this book. jean is, what, a few days removed from the nest? i just do not believe (or want to be asked to believe) that he and kevin would be able to articulate any of that by that point, or have the words to discuss these things openly like that already. this was baffling to me because, once again, this is handled really well and compellingly in the original trilogy!!! hence my 40k two months of madness!!!! jean and kevin literally cannot even speak to each other when they see each other at the banquet, to the point where andrew intervenes just to get them to stop watching each other. iirc there was a part in the EC where nora said they don’t have a real conversation till a year (or multiple years?) out of the nest which felt extremely true to me. laila, cat, and jeremy constantly pressing him to express what happened, as if being able to narrativize a traumatic experience is not actively one of the hardest things about recovery, again just felt like lazy writing. everything has to be spoken out loud for it to work here, because she didn’t build conflict in any other way. i actively disliked laila and cat by the end of the book because she had to use them in such annoying and blunt ways to drive the story forward.  

OKAY there is my quota of "joyless hater" for the day... i appreciate you wanting to hear my thoughts!! if you have any thoughts on any of this i'd love to hear them as well. and if you're interested, i'll take the opportunity to rec an academic text on some of these dynamics, Alexandra Stein’s book “Terror, Love, and Brainwashing: Attachment in Cults and Totalitarian Systems"

[bloody-wonder]

making progress on old series

let it not be said that i can only start new series🧐

new releases:

empire of the damned by jay kristoff (book two in: empire of the vampire). i might have mentioned this one once or twice already so let's keep it brief. i loved it! even more than book one, i think. love liathe joining the main cast, love jean françois' everything, love how everyone got queerer, love the reveals at the end. very excited for the last book in this series, altho i'm a bit disappointed that it's now three books instead of five - since there are five vampire houses i wanted them to keep taking on a house in each book, with blood chastain being the final boss. very rude of kristoff to betray my vision.

the sunshine court by nora sakavic (book four in: all for the game). i don't think this spin off continuation was necessary and i didn't particularly enjoy it but i'm glad jean stans now have their own sacred text. my biggest fear was that nora would retcon something about the og trilogy and that didn't happen so i can just keep living in peace while mostly ignoring tsc fan content. more thoughts on why i didn't vibe with tsc in these posts.

mislaid in parts half-known by seanan mcguire (book nine in: wayward children). so this series consists of books focused on individual wayward children as well as of ensemble books which are usually weaker and this particular novella unfortunately belongs to the latter category. i still liked it fine and it was a quick read but tbh i'm ready for this series to wrap up so i hope goodreads isn't lying about the next book being the final installment.

fence vol. 6: redemption by cs pacat & johanna the mad. i rated it five stars but ngl i have no memory of what happened in this volume altho i read it in february😅 i like this series overall but i feel like the first few volumes were more exciting. weirdly now that the slow burn is finally starting to pay off i suddenly lose interest😕

heartstopper: volume five by alice oseman. i'm not a big fan of heartstopper in general, i think it's overhyped, but i did like this volume more than the previous ones. maybe i'm biased bc it features tori coming out as ace which prompted me to pick up solitaire which i loved and so it retroactively cast a more favorable light on the graphic novel. looking forward to reading the last volume bc i like finishing things and then i might as well read the nick and charlie novellas - at which point i will have become a person who doesn't like oseman's books all that much and yet has somehow read all but one of them🫤

mammoths at the gates and the brides of high hill by nghi vo (books four and five in: the singing hills cycle). i have only really liked the second singing hills novella so at this point it would be smart to admit that this series is simply not for me and stop reading it but. these books are so short and perfect for when you want to get through something quickly even if you know you're not likely to enjoy it. and if indeed eight stories are planned then it means i have now read more than half so i might as well complete the series🤷‍♀️ *gets shot by sunk cost fallacy police*

series i completed:

regency faerie tales by olivia atwater (read books two and three: ten thousand stitches and longshadow). love love LOVE these books!! i read half a soul last october and ten thousand stitches this january - both times when i was sick in bed and i couldn't have wished for better books to help me recover from a cold. the first one is pride & prejudice meets jonathan strange & mr norrell, the second one is a cinderella retelling, both have lovely romances and can be read as standalones. i think half a soul is fairly popular (and constantly compared to the book that shall not be named😒) but ten thousand stitches is very underappreciated. i for one think it's at least as good, if not better, than half a soul - apparently people just can't appreciate a love interest who isn't angsty and brooding😒 longshadow is a companion novel too but imo it features too many characters and concepts from the previous books so it should definitely be read last. i didn't like it as much bc i think it relies too much on the stuff we already know and love instead of giving its protagonists enough time to shine but it is queer which made me realize we don't have nearly enough queer fae books. what a disgrace🧐

noumena by lindsay ellis (read book three: apostles of mercy). so this was unfortunately mind-bogglingly boring. this type of sci fi is usually not my cup of tea and so i stay away from it but i decided to give this series a try bc it was written by lindsay ellis. the first book was entertaining enough but both sequels bored me to tears. it seems i was under a misconception that the story was gonna be about a sad girl trying to navigate a third thing type of relationship with a freaky alien but it was instead about her navigating instalovey relationships with random humans and the alien was also there sometimes. big disappointment👎

series i'm slowly working my way through:

the memoirs of lady trent by marie brennan (read books two, three and four: the tropic of serpents, the voyage of the basilisk and in the labyrinth of drakes). i read book one last december and liked it just enough to continue the series but every next book after that turned out to be amazing. follow lady trent, a 19th century dragon naturalist and adventurer, legendary as she is scandalous, as she travels through fantasy africa, oceania and arabia in search of dragons living and extinct, starts various political upheavals, makes breathtaking discoveries and finds love - a life journey she recounts as an old woman in a delightfully snarky narrative voice.

book two is my favorite so far bc it found a perfect balance of fast-paced adventurous plot on the one hand and character and relationship development on the other. i'm a bit sad that natalie left the main cast after this book - one of the only two criticisms i have of this series is that the titular lady trent remains the only important woman character. i think it wouldn't be too far-fetched to have one more woman on the team and natalie was a perfect protegée who, might i add, is also canonically ace. hate to see her leave😒

book three introduces a love interest who i at first found kinda bland but he grew on me in book four. my favorite relationship in the series however remains the one between lady trent and her trusted colleague tom wilker with whom they used to butt heads when they first met but who is now her dearest friend and longtime companion on her journeys. there are many books about romance and friendship but not so many about the utter satisfaction of having a coworker you can absolutely rely on. my prediction/wish for the last book is for wilker to turn out to be gay and find love too🤞

the other criticism i have has to do with the worldbuilding and i'll elaborate on it when i complete the series later this year.

the witcher by andrzej sapkowski (read books two and three: the time of contempt and baptism of fire). i'm enjoying this series much more than i thought i would. the key to success here is to leave behind all expectations you have from reading western epic fantasy or indeed from the witcher adaptations. this saga started as short stories and sapkowski remains a short story author first and foremost which might irritate a reader expecting a novel with a neat three act structure but which i personally found fascinating. the opening chapter of book two told from the pov of a messenger who encounters all major characters on the road, gets a death prophecy from a girl he doesn't know to be ciri and indeed dies as the chapter ends - i think that was a very creative way to reintroduce the reader to the main cast and plot essentially through the format of a short story.

another thing sapkowski does a lot is conveying everything through dialogue which, as you might know, is like bookish catnip to me lol. some dialogues are there just for the sake of dialogue, only bc the author wanted some side characters he made up to have a funny conversation. to be fair, at worst this structure becomes too meandering but i gotta say i find that chapters that are focused on mundane scenes seemingly going nowhere are more fun than plot focused chapters about sorceresses and wizards fighting or whatever. the witch trial chapter in baptism of fire - that's where it's at for me.

the thing i'm still not so sure about is the way women and women's issues are represented. very mixed feelings on what happens to milva in book three, tho i think i wouldn't be so skeptical had she not been the only woman on the main cast in that book. (cahir and regis are such fun characters with interesting motivations and stuff so ig i'm pissed that the only female character's deal has to be about that). ciri on the other hand is written very well imo and i totally did not expect her to be in a sapphic relationship. sure hope nothing bad happens to her gf🥲

vorkosigan saga by lois mcmaster bujold (read books one, two and four (??): shards of honor, barrayar and the vor game). so after reading the warrior's apprentice and the mountains of mourning last year i took a step back and read cordelia's books which i unfortunately didn't like. cordelia is a type of female character i don't vibe with and the gender themes in her books, while likely very progressive for their time, often made me roll my eyes, grind my teeth etc. in my goodreads reviews i explain my issues in more detail. the ethical implications of uterine replicators haunt me still😕

returning to miles in the vor game was both welcome and disappointing bc i keep expecting more from this man and he keeps falling short of my grand lymondesque expectations. in this book in particular i was immediately hooked on the arctic base plot only for it to be cut short bc this is a space opera and miles needs to go do pew pew pew in space, just like in book one. boo. now that i know weatherman was formerly a short story bujold later incorporated into the vor game i think it's curious that i seem to like miles a lot in short stories and novellas (the mountains of mourning remains my favorite) but am underwhelmed by the full length novel miles.

i will say however that now i have sufficiently adjusted my expectations and am very motivated to find out if there is a vorkosigan book out there that i will absolutely love. so i'll keep reading a few books per year - there's something soothing about slowly working one's way through a very long series😌

the realm of the elderlings by robin hobb (read books two and three: royal assassin and assassin's quest). the farseer books are the longest and (for the most part) the most boring books i have read this year. normally i don't torture myself like this but i wanted to do it for the fool and see how his relationship with fitz develops. was it worth it? i would say yes but only bc i let myself curate my own perfect reading experience and skimmed aggressively, sometimes skipping entire chapters. and i will do it again!👿 bc i will keep reading the elderlings books to see how the one million page yaoi plays out.

the only part of the farseer trilogy i really enjoyed was the second half of assassin's quest - not just bc fitz and the fool were cute and heart-wrenching together but bc of the entire unlikely fellowship on this quest. nighteyes is my favorite which is a feat on hobb's part bc normally i don't care about animal companions or am annoyed by them. kettle is iconic, always remember to take an auld woman on a quest (or she will chase you down and join despite your protests and prevarications). i hated starling but in a series where most characters provoke zero emotions that was a welcome change. kettricken was also there. their group dynamic was delightful and i wish the entirety of this series (or at least of this last book) was this slow burn psychological character study in close proximity group dynamics. but you can't always have what you want ig🤷‍♀️

what's next:

finishing the memoirs of lady trent - only one book in the main series is left and then there's also a spin off about her granddaughter, i think

rereading swordspoint which i first read back in 2020 and found underwhelming but it may just have been bc captive prince was such a hard act to follow for many gay books i tried back then. i hope i will like it more now that i can meet it halfway and if it goes well i want to complete the riverside trilogy right away

sometime this fall i'm gonna read pandora and vittorio the vampire. finishing the vampire chronicles is on my bookish bucket list and now, two whole years after i reread three of them to refresh my memory, i finally feel sane and brave enough to keep working towards that goal. so wish me luck🥲

finishing joanne harris' st oswald's series which started with one of my favorite dark academia novels gentlemen and players. i read the sequel last year and liked it a lot so now i want to read the final book a narrow door which also seems like a perfect autumnal read

the new evander mills mystery comes out in october and i'd like to read it before the year ends

2024 reading updates | goodreads

[yeonkimintakecare]

Bus Stop Meet Cute

Pairing: Jin X Reader; Fluff

Summary: You're known for always having your head in the clouds, dreaming yourself a better life. One day you try to make your dreams a reality by doing something extremely out of character.

Author's Note: This is my personal favorites of all of my old writings, I also think this is the only one of the old ones that I wrote sober, so that checks out.

Warnings: I don't think any? Let me know if you think there should be. It's mainly just fluff?

Love Story by Suran plays in your headphones while you stare out the window. You watch all the people pass by as you smile. This was your favorite part of the day. You had just gotten off of work at the cafe you work at, and now you get to people watch on the bus ride home.

You often look at the people who are passing by and create little stories of their lives. Your mother always told you that it wasn’t healthy how much you daydream. Maybe she’s right, but it was your escape. You wanted to be a writer, but until you finish your novel, you need to continue to pay your bills. Working a full time job makes it hard to write, so you have to find time when you can.

You see a woman in a beautiful pale blue dress and you start writing a story in your head about how she is about to go on a date with the man of her dreams. You imagine how they met, what may have kept them apart, and how they finally got together. You smile at the nice ending that you gave the stranger, but soon frown, you feel a longing to have your own love story. These things don’t really happen in real life.

You search for your next stranger, when your eyes fall on him. A tall and handsome man sitting at the bus stop. He has headphones in and is reading a book. You note his great sense of fashion, he is wearing a deep greet turtleneck with a houndstooth coat and dark wash jeans. He has hair hangs in his face a little bit, but you can still see that he is extremely attractive.

You feel the bus coming to a stop and your window stops right in front of him. He looks up and makes eye contact with you. He gives a small smile and a nod and continues to stare at you. Your stomach fills with butterflies and your knees feel weak. You give him a wave with a slight smile. He gives a small laugh, goodness, you would pay to hear that laugh. But it doesn’t seem that he is necessarily getting on at this stop. You decide to do something a little risky.

You open your window.

He looks at you and you both take out one of your ear buds.

‘Is this your bus?” You ask him with a nervous smile.

“It can be.” He replies with a raised eyebrow and a grin. He then walks away from the pole he was leaning against and gets on the bus. As he walks towards your seat you begin to feel your heartbeat faster. You put your things away in your bag and make room on the seat next to you. He sits down next to you and you can smell his cologne. He turns to you and holds out his hand.

“Hi, I’m Kim Seokjin, but you can just call me Jin.” He states.

“Hello, I’m ____. Very nice to meet you.” You blush as you shake his hand. It’s very warm and it lights your soul. This isn’t some made up story in your head. This is real. This is happening.

“So where are we headed?” He asks with a small chuckle.

“We are going to a book store actually, then maybe dinner?” You say with a small question mark at the end.

Wow, where is this confidence is suddenly coming from? you ask yourself.

“Sounds great.” He says as he continues to look at you with a smile. You both continue to make conversation. You learn that he runs a publishing company, and he was actually just heading to a book store himself. It was almost like it was fate. You loved the way he laughed, while others may find it weird, you found it cute.

When you both reached the stop you continued on to the bookstore.

You show him your favorite novel, and he shows you a poetry book. You guys could’ve spent hours in that store, getting to know each other and talking about books and stories. He had so many cute little quirks, like when he got really passionate about something he talked quicker. Eventually you guys check out and he surprises you by paying for your books. You thank him and you let him pick the place to eat.

He picked a restaurant that served naengmyeon. You guys eat and talk. You can’t stop smiling. He really is a dream. You have to pinch yourself to tell your self this is real.

“Are you ok?” He asks afterwards.

“Yeah, of course. I just am convincing myself that all of this is real.” You say with a small laugh.

“Do you often find yourself imagining things?” He said poking fun at you. You laugh.

“Well no and yes. I don’t hallucinate or anything, but I do often enjoy creating scenarios in my head. My mom has always told me that my overactive imagination would be bad for me and one day I would begin to believe my stories are real. I guess all of this seems too good to be true… You seem too good to be true.” You say while fiddling with your hands. He rests his hands on yours and you look up at him.

“I can promise you I am as real as it gets.” He says with a comforting smile. You smile back to him and hold his hand. Hoping that this lasts forever.

~ time jump - 5 years later ~

You stand on the podium looking out to the sea of people staring back at you. You begin to read the pages from your book.

“Soft love songs play in her headphones while she lazily daydreams out of the window. She quietly envies the people that pass by. She longed for a life with interest. She longed to shed her tedious job at the cafe. She longed to have romance in her life.

As if she spoke it into the universe her eyes landed on the most handsome man she had ever seen. A man that radiated the confidence she had longed for. While the bus comes to a stop their eyes meet. They can feel the chemistry grow as they continue to stare at each other. Almost as if she had absorbed some of him through this limited contact, she opens the window.

‘Is this your bus?’ She asks with a nervous smile and a tight chest. He looks up at her with a smirk.

‘It can be.’ He replies before getting onto the bus.” You close the book while the crowd claps.

“I want to thank you all for supporting me. This is my third book, and I have been thankful everyday that you guys have enjoyed my stories. They have always been my comfort, my escape from a dull life. Although you may not know, that my most recent novel isn’t just a story. It’s something that happened to me. This novel was inspired by the meeting of my very own partner and publisher, Kim Seokjin.” You say while holding your arm out to the back corner of your room. You make eye contact with your husband, Jin. He smiles and gives small bows as people turn to look at him and clap.

“Of course there are differences, but I had to write a story about how we met. My life changed from dull to exciting the day our eyes connected on that bus. His company was small, and I was an unknown writer, but people were, thankfully, drawn to my novel. I wouldn’t have had the strength to finish that story without him. He has kept me going for so long, and I owe everything I have to him. I love you my darling.” You say with tears welling in your eyes.

He gives you a heartfelt nod and mouths an ‘I Love You’ back. You continue to talk about your book. You take some questions and sometimes making eye contact with Jin and feeling a burst of warmth shoot through your veins.

After the book reading, you were talking one on one with your fans. You feel a hand snake around your waist and look up to see your beautiful husband.

“Excuse me, I don’t mean to interrupt your conversation, but we have a very important meeting to get to.” Your husband says as you both take your leave.

You sit in the car as he drives. You stare at him as you hear a familiar song by Suran play. He rests a hand on your leg facing up, a request for you to hold his hand. You accept of course.

You guys pull up to the very same noodle place you had come to the night you had met. You enjoy a nice bowl of naengmyeon with your husband as you both talk about the current books you are reading. You will always thank fate for that day you had two met at the bus. You will always thank the universe for giving you the courage to open your window and talk to him. You will always thank Kim Seokjin for getting on that bus and never leaving your side since.

“Happy anniversary baby 💕”

[mastomysowner]

Japanese and Italians think alike

I recently finished reading the surreal mystery/horror manga Soil by Atsushi Kaneko, and I must say that I'm fascinated by the concept of foreign bodies. A few quotes from Some Explanations on Soil, written by the translator:

In other words, when people do disgusting, abnormal things, it creates rifts through which SHIT enters our world.

Italian horror writer Luigi Musolino's collection of short stories, Un buio diverso (A Different Darkness), deals with the same theme. It's framed with excerpts from the grimoire of worker-writer Enrico Bedolis (local Abdul Alhazred) The Science of Dead Environments.

To quote the intro: "Certain areas on Earth, due to their location and geometry, are affected by dark forces that bring energies of other dimensions into our world. Because the line between Here and There is very thin and is becoming thinner and thinner due to the unworthy behavior of the human race."

It was mentioned somewhere that Bedolis also wrote about the struggle between light and dark energies, but this is a horror book, so it's about SHIT. Does it get existential? Yeah. I liked the story Where the Lighters Go the most, so here's my translation:

One completely ordinary night, suffering from insomnia and feeling how strongly it was blowing from the old windows, Edo Taverna found out where the lighters go.

At two o'clock he got out of bed to smoke a cigarette - maybe it would help drive away the thoughts about work that were keeping him awake? And for ten minutes he wandered around the rooms looking for a lighter.

It disappeared somewhere. Lighters kept disappearing somewhere.

Edo had no doubt that he had placed the lighter with the stylized skull next to the TV. But it wasn't there.

Maybe in jeans? Not there either.

On the nightstand too...

Standing in the semi-darkness, Edo replayed the past day in his head. Well, of course, Gigi probably stole the lighter from him when, after work in the office, they stopped at the bar to drink a Spritz. Gigi had such a bad habit. But damn, to steal a lighter?..

“It’s not like I did it on purpose, I have something like kleptomania,” he even made excuses, this idiot. Edo mentally told him to piss off and promised that he would personally beat him to a pulp, and then continued the search. There should be more lighters in the apartment - the question is where, of course.

The house hides, but does not steal, his mother liked to repeat, and she knew what she was saying.

Edo rummaged in the corners of the sofa, in the drawers of the desk, even went through a stack of magazines lying on the toilet tank.

Nothing.

You can light a cigarette from the stove in the kitchen, but now this is a matter of principle.

Edo remembered that he had a blue lighter with white patterns - seems like he dropped it over the headboard a month ago, when, after sex with an overweight goth chick he met on Badoo, they shared a cigarette; the girl called herself an expert on Wicca, and spent most of the evening chatting about a strange book written by some Piedmontese worker. Listening to her talk made Edo sad, and he decided to return to the good old masturbation to Pornhub videos.

Deciding to move the heavy sofa away from the wall, Edo, with an unlit cigarette in his teeth, pulled the net on which the mattress lay with all his might. He thought that now he would see rags of dust, dirty napkins, boogers and porn magazines from the nineties.

Overall, he expected to find anything, but not what he found.

His head began spinning, the cigarette slipped out of his mouth and fell onto his leg.

“Oh my God. This is crazy,” he was amazed and squatted down, not knowing whether to laugh at his discovery or pinch his scrotum to wake up faster.

Behind the headboard, in the wall, there was a meter by meter opening. A square of darkness. Trying to find a reasonable explanation, Edo Taverna decided that, most likely, the bricks had simply collapsed - maybe water had accumulated in them, or maybe it was a defect in the building's structure.

Then he saw narrow, shabby steps going steeply down, and all his logical arguments went to waste. Edo hovered at the doorway for about two minutes, thinking about secret passages and medieval castles, and then took out his cell phone and turned on the flashlight. Carefully, from afar, he began to probe the hole with a ray of light, slowly approaching it, as if the opening could close at any second, and the plaster and cement could grasp his hand in a death grip.

Only the steps were visible, nothing more. It looked like they were made of stone, and the surface was covered with some kind of greenish web - either mold or rot. The passage seemed narrow, but there was enough space for one person.

– Hey! – Edo shouted into the darkness, but absolute, frightening silence swallowed his voice, not even returning an echo.

Swallowing sour saliva, Edo sighed, bent his knees and stepped over the threshold. Then he began to descend, bending down and feeling how low the ceiling arches were hanging.

Slowly, carefully, he descended lower and lower, holding his cell phone in front of him. The staircase was completely straight, without turns or landings.

Edo had been walking the steps for what must have been an hour, pausing every now and then to catch his breath and wipe the sweat that had dripped down his eyes.

This is impossible. Impossible because he lives on the fourth floor of a house in Rosella, a residential area of ​​Turin. Edo again tried to find an explanation for what was happening, but, realizing that it was useless, he decided to rely on fate, never ceasing to be amazed at its surprises. Curiosity and the feeling that something important was waiting for him there, at the foot of the stairs, turned out to be stronger than fear and the voice that whispered to Edo: “Go back, where are you going?”

After a couple of hours of descent, the lifeless light of the flashlight encountered a dim yellow glow coming from below. Edo turned off his cell phone.

Gradually the steps became gentler, and when they ended, Edo found himself in a short corridor that led to a huge hall.

The phone dropped out of his hands.

No, the hall was not just huge.

Never in his miserable life had Edo seen such a gigantic room as this butane-scented underground cathedral. The walls and ceiling were lost from sight. And on the shiny floor, as if made of obsidian, which instilled horror in Edo with its blackness, stood in a chain all the lighters that he had lost during twenty-five years of smoking.

Lighters that fell between the seats of the car, stolen from him on crazy teenage drinking sessions, forgotten in clothes taken to the trash heap, bought from a Moroccan in Liguria, the ones he used to open beer, light fires on the beach, from which he lit joints, heated hashish, multi-colored limited edition lighters, and finally those given away and lost - they were countless, especially lost ones.

They were all burning; the flames ran in coils to the center of the hall, merging into one huge, dazzling, yellow-blue fire.

Opening his mouth, Edo walked along the chain, recognizing each lighter, and felt that his eyes were blurring with tears. Each was associated with a certain moment in his life, and these memories floated before his eyes one after another.

Just like before death. Exactly as before death.

Edo walked for a long time until he finally reached the place where the chain originated. He saw a lighter with a stylized skull and extended a trembling hand to take it. But the metal slipped from his sweaty fingers, and the lighter fell right onto another, small one, which - exactly! - was taken from him at Milan airport in two thousand and two.

Domino effect.

Destroying the order, the lighters began to fall one after another and go out.

As if spellbound, Edo watched the play of light and shadow created by the running flames. Finally, the last lighter fell, and darkness reigned.

And at that moment, Edo Taverna suddenly saw that, in addition to lighters, the ghosts of all the losses of his life had gathered here in the dungeon, and he had lost a lot: self-esteem, the only woman he loved, youthful dreams of becoming a football star, buying a house, having children; he was overcome by remorse for lying, for saying too few words of support to his father while he was alive, for forgetting how to enjoy small joys, and for much, much, much more.

Very, very many losses, and all this awaited him here, in the dungeon, and all this had teeth, claws, tongues and eyes - bottomless, black, terrible, bloodshot, you can go crazy looking at them.

They were getting closer.

[darklydeliciousdesires]

Lost & Found - Chapter Five.

Well, my lovely darlings, since you all seemed so happy to have two updates in one week, I thought we might do this going forward? It'll get the story rolling a little, but if you'd prefer one then please do tell me. It's completely up to you! I hate to feel like I'm bombarding people and want everyone to take their time with reading, but if you are set to devour, then I can make this happen for you since I am almost finished writing it now :) As always, thank you so much for reading, reblogging and reviewing.

Previous chapters - One Two Three Four

Words - 3,164

Warnings - 18+ content throughout, Minors DNI. Recounts of kidnap, child trafficking, physical/verbal/sexual abuse in the coming chapters.

“Mm, nah. Not yet.” His hand reached out, haphazardly swatting at the screen of his phone until the snooze icon was tapped, Guero needing at least ten more minutes. Then maybe another ten after that. By his own admission, unless it involved either good coffee or sex, he was not much of a morning person at all.  

After twenty minutes of snoozing, he finally got up, pulling on a pair of sweats and hunting around for some clean boxers. “Gotta do laundry, gotta go to the market, gotta actually be a proper fucking adult.” he muttered to himself, finding a pair of black Calvins in the drawer, picking up his jeans and a fresh, white t shirt.  

Looking over the back of the sofa, he saw the heartwarming sight of Emma and Axl curled up together, his dog’s head rested right below her chin. Pitties; they truly loved to snuggle. After taking a shower, though, he entered the kitchen to find the large dog sat at the back door, tail wagging expectantly. Emma slept on.  

After feeding himself and Axl, he felt at somewhat of an impasse over what to do, knowing he had a full day ahead of him with the club, but not really wanting to leave Emma alone either, just in case she panicked. Also, from how much he hated it when someone disturbed him, he didn’t want to wake her. Plus, she needed her rest. 

He wrestled with it for a while before making a decision, writing her a note he left on the coffee table with a key and a stack of bills, departing quietly.  

It was 12pm before she woke from a long, deep sleep, reaching to stroke Axl, who had stationed himself next to the couch. “Guero?” she called into the emptiness of the house, sitting up quickly, feeling a little scared when it appeared she was there alone. Her eyes located the note upon the table, taking it and feeling calmer as she began to read.  

Hey Emma, 

You were still sleeping when I left, didn’t wanna wake you up. If you wanna come down the yard, I’ve left the number of a local cab company at the bottom, as well as my cell and Lee’s. She won’t mind if you wanna hang out with her, I’ll be back and forth from there most of the day. Go ask Tyrone next door, he’ll let you borrow his cell. He's cool, you don’t need to be scared of him. 

Left you some cash in case you wanna go out and buy anything you might need, I dunno, any stuff that I don’t have here. If you feel up to it, that is. Take Axl with you, a hundred and ten-pound pittie is the best bodyguard you’ll ever have if you feel freaked out about leaving the house. If you head out of here and turn left onto La Brea, then walk down to the crossroads and turn right, there’s a little strip mall. Isn't much, but there’s a few stores there. Left a spare key for you, too. 

If you wanna just stay home then no problem, I’ll be back late probably. Gimme a call if you need me, though.  

She smiled as she placed the note back, thinking how lucky she was to have ended up there. He was a good guy, becoming more and more trustworthy to her with every kind action that passed. She felt nervous about the idea of going to the yard, although he’d said Lee would be there and she trusted that she was a good person, too, sitting and thinking for a few moments before going to the bathroom. Axl followed.  

She hadn’t paid much mind to it since her arrival, other than noting it could definitely benefit from a good, deep clean. Looking around the space in daylight, though, her notion was solidified. Something to do, yes. This was what she needed to pacify herself, hunting in the cupboards to locate the necessary items.  

A tour of the house revealed he had very little in the way of cleaning products, only packets of antibacterial and furniture polish wipes. At least he had a vacuum. A brief look outside yielded the discovery of a lawnmower and a few gardening tools in a small lean-to, Emma heaving them out, ready for later that afternoon.  

She felt a plan forming.  

Being purposeful had been pretty much her entire life, it was what she was used to, what made her feel settled, to make someone happy with her efforts. Taking the key, she left the cash where it was, not wanting to take his money. She had enough of that, liberating a very large wedge of it prior to her departure from New York.  

Taking the stacks of bills from her backpack, she hid them beneath the couch, thinking it risky to leave with that much money, just in case, tucking enough into her pocket while glancing around.  

“Okay, where’s your leash, Axl?” she muttered, the dog suddenly springing to his feet, jogging into the kitchen. He returned with a long, brown leather leash, holding it proudly in his mouth, tail wagging as he dropped it at her feet and then sat obediently, tail wagging rapidly. “Oh, you’re such a good boy, yes, little sir.” She clipped it onto the bottom link of the large chain he wore around his neck, picking up the key and swinging her backpack over her shoulder, ready to leave.  

When she opened the front door, though, her feet planted, Axl jumping out, turning to sit upon the welcome mat at the other side, viewing her questioningly. Her entire body froze, the individual fibres of her muscles all tightening in protest, fear filling her chest. She felt as if each of her ribs were tightening, tension tinkling from one to the next, as if her fear was playing some kind of haunting melody, her very bones the xylophone.  

“Outside bad. No safe person. You can’t go out there.” 

It was a big voice to ignore, her natural instinct to remain within the abode that housed her or suffer the consequences. Such had changed greatly since she’d switched east coast for west, but the fear remained fundamental. Breathing deeply, she rocked on her heels, closing her eyes as she attempted to steady her irrational thoughts.  

“You can do this. There’s no mafia in Santo Padre. Nobody knows your face here. Come on, you can leave the house. It’s all behind you now.” Her mouth dried up as she swallowed hard, her heart thundering in her chest, taking another deep breath and stepping out, turning to shut and lock the door behind her.  

“Hey boo, headin’ for a dog walk, huh?”  

She soul almost departed her body at the sudden boom, looking to see the curtains moved, Tyrone sticking his head from the window next door. “He’s just being friendly, it’s okay.” she muttered, taking cautious steps down the driveway, waving as the huge man came better into her view. “Yeah, yeah nice and sunny.”  

“S’beautiful day! You and giant puppy have fun, baby. Later!” 

“Later.” she parroted quietly, tightening her grip on Axl’s leash, walking slowly to the sidewalk. With every step, she felt her fear thickening, trying to talk herself down from it, her breaths shaky. “He doesn’t have a clue where you are. You did it right this time. There’s no way he’ll ever track you down to here.” The street was quiet, at least, no people walking on it, Emma feeling herself begin to calm with every step she took.  

Still, she couldn’t help but keep on looking over her shoulder, her body priming itself to run, although she knew she likely wouldn’t get far. She was much too weak for exertion, suddenly panicking that she was leaving the house on zero energy reserves, worrying if she fainted and had nobody there to help her. Safe person was not around, after all. All she had was his dog. 

When La Brea came into view quicker than she expected, she felt relief, especially when the right turn she had to take wasn’t far either, hitting the location of the strip mall sooner than anticipated. There was a convenience store, a little store that seemed to sell a bit of everything, clothes too, fortunately, a drugstore, a salon and a café. Café first, to sate her growling stomach.  

They had a few wooden tables and chairs outside, Emma hovering, not seeing anywhere she could tie up Axl securely, knowing she couldn’t take him inside. She was at indecision for a few moments before a friendly looking woman came out, proffering a menu forth.  

“I saw you had your doggie with you, thought I’d come to you,” she spoke, readying her small notepad and pen as Emma read the menu.  

“Um, can I get a vegetable omelette, toast, hash browns and an orange juice, please?” she asked meekly, drawing her shoulders up, clamping her lips together. 

“Sure can, mama. Take a seat, shan’t be long.” She bustled back inside, Emma seating herself at the table with the most shade, feeling her pale skin tingling under the bright sun. It was a little busier on the people front than her walk down there, her nerves skittering once more, especially when people stopped to pet Axl.  

“Yo, that dog is dope!” A guy who was almost ninety percent tattooed spoke as he approached, holding out his hand for Axl to sniff before scratching his head. “How old is he?” 

“Um, I-I don’t know. H-he belongs to my friend,” she stammered nervously, sliding her chair back as her hands tightened on Axl’s leash. The dog read the situation, picking up on her fear and shuffling back with her, sitting on her feet while letting out a small, low growl of warning.  

“Woah, he’s protective! Badass guard dog!” He smiled friendlily before continuing down the street, Emma letting out the breath she’d been holding, leaning to kiss the soft, velvety spot atop Axl’s head.  

“Thank you.” she whispered, scratching under his chin, Axl basking in her affection as he panted softly. Much to her delight, her food was with her quickly, Emma savouring every mouthful, leaving a few bills under the plate and continuing along.  

“Hey yo, that’s Guero’s dog, ain’t it? You his girl, babe?” a man lingering in the doorway of the convenience store asked her as she approached, standing out of the way. “I’m Khalid, this is my store. You can go inside with him, your guy does all the time.” 

“No. He’s uh, my f-friend.” she spoke shyly, entering the store, Khalid nodding before moving to behind the counter while she grabbed a basket and loaded up. Food, cleaning products, sponges, cloths, she filled up her basket, Khalid ringing it all up and taking a piece of jerky from the tub on the counter.  

“On me, for the big guy.” he said, nodding at Axl. She fed him his treat and paid, lifting her laden backpack onto her back before they continued on. The store that seemed to sell a little of everything luckily had most of what she needed, albeit all a little cheap in quality, it was better than nothing. She bought a couple of cotton dresses, some cut offs, t shirts, vest tops, flip flops and undies, moving along to the drugstore.  

Face wash, moisturiser, razors, soap, shampoo and conditioner, sunscreen, a hairbrush and some hair bands, as well as a box of tampons since her period was imminent, deodorant and some sweetly scented body mist were bought, her arms laden with bags, her backpack full to the brim. It was a good job she didn’t have far to walk back, feeling the weight of it all pressing down on her, hurrying as fast as she could.  

Once back inside, she unclipped Axl’s leash, setting her load down and taking a seat on the couch, smiling to herself. She’d gone out alone, a brave move, she thought, bought what she needed, managed to talk to people, her fear just about under control.  

She had no idea if she’d come to call the town home, but it was a good first proper day there if nothing else. After everything she’d been through, she deserved a few good days to come her way. With the warmth of her accomplishment lighting a little fire beneath her, she used it as extra channelling to attack her tasks at hand with gusto. Not that she would undertake them with anything less. 

With Axl set up on the porch, lying on the smooth concrete with his water dish and toys close by, she began her first job, using the weed whacker to take the top off the long grass before attacking it with the mower. She’d just finished raking up everything when there was a familiar shout from the window.  

“Hey boo!” A large arm followed the even larger voice, Tyrone grasping a can of soda. “Come get a lil’ sip! Damned hot out there and you bustin’ a fuckin’ hump!”  

Placing the rake down, she ventured across, remembering Guero’s words in his note, about Tyrone being cool. He’d given no indication he was anything but to her either, seemingly a perfectly friendly man. She’d say harmless, but at his sheer size, she wouldn’t like to get on his wrong side.  

“Thanks, Tyrone.” Taking the can from him, she opened it, glugging back a few mouthfuls.  

“S’what’s your name? I might just keep on callin’ you boo, though. Annoy the hell outta fuckboy!”  

Supressing the urge to burp, she held her hand to her mouth. “Emma.”  

“Well, it’s good to meet you, Emma! An’ lemme tell you, girl. You an improvement on the last one he brought home!” he boomed, lighting up a large blunt as he shifted to get comfortable in his huge armchair. “Bitch looked like one of those Bratz dolls, one that got scribbled all over by a damned toddler with a Sharpie!”  

A fine spray of soda left her mouth, Emma feeling bad for finding that quite as funny as she did. “That’s a little cruel!”  

“No, it ain’t! Not to you, at least. You’re prettier, and you the upgrade, baby!” 

She didn’t correct him, thanking him for the soda before getting back to her task. Once everything was done, it was time to start the inside. Laundry first. Separating lights from darks, the lights went in first, Emma humming contentedly to herself. Just over an hour, which meant while she waited, she could get the kitchen deep cleaned. It wasn’t grubby, per se, but definitely what could be constituted as single man clean. 

Pulling on the rubber gloves she’d bought, she decided to start with the oven. The hobs were a little dusty, but other than that it was pristine. She guessed from lack of use if his statement that he feared poisoning her with pasta was anything to go by.  

Spraying the sink and draining board down, she got them sparkling, doing the dishes in the sink, looking around to check for a dishwasher. None found. It was a small kitchen, after all. She could see the downside in that it would take up more space than the utility of it offset. Once all counters and cupboards had been thoroughly cleaned, she began with the floor, shooing Axl back into the lounge and closing the door, not wanting him to taint his paws with disinfectant.  

The tiles were perhaps the worst part of the entire room, Emma working the brush in circles, the water hot against her hands even through the layer of yellow rubber. Pine-scented steam rose, each tile beginning to shed its film of dirt beneath her toil.  

“You better make sure every fuckin’ square inch of that floor is clean, or I’ll make you clean it again, with your goddamned toothbrush. You hear?” 

The rapid flash of the memory left almost as soon as it had arrived, yet Emma swore she could feel the press of his fingertips against her skull from when he’d held her face to the floor. A sharp intake of breath returned her truly, the flashback fading back to the dark recess of her brain from where it had been stirred, like a phantom cowering once more from the goodness of light.  

“It’s over, it’s over, it’s over.” Her repetition made it no truer in that part of her brain, though, deep within the crevice where the trauma lurked. While she was gone from Staten Island, her escape so far successful, her mind was still there, she realised, her chest working overtime to deliver air to her tightened lungs.  

A change of location might not so easily free the stranglehold upon her mind, she realised, so many years of acting a certain way, out of fear of punishment, or worse. Much worse. Hugging her knees to her chest, she rested her head on her forearms, waiting for the calm to seep through the bleak horizon of her turmoil. The dawn had to break eventually for her.  

Her cleaning continued, wiping up the water again with the aid of a large sponge, the whole place sparkling. After placing the white wash into the dryer, she put the darks in before moving onto the lounge. While making some kind of order out of the chaos in her mind might’ve been too far off yet, she certainly got stuck into turning the lounge into something resembling a semblance of organisation.  

A time for rest was taken, truly no rest at all since Axl danced in front of her, proffering a rope toy he wished to engage her with.  

“Oh, you want to play, huh? Little sir has designs on tug o’ war?” A rope muffled woof sounded, Emma grasping the other end, Axl bracing as he began to pull back. “Oooh, you furious beast! Listen to those big puppy growls, yes!” she enthused, snorting with laugher when a sudden yank sent her from a kneeling position to flat on the floor, Axl towing her along as she giggled. “Silly boy! Yes, you are!”  

Her antics with said silly boy ended, Axl moving instead to chew upon the large bone that honestly looked like an entire lower half of a cow’s leg, Emma returning to her tasks. Once finished, she sat down for a break, sipping on a milky coffee while watching an old episode of Full House. While laughing at the antics of the Tanner family, she looked around the space, only the bathroom and bedroom to tackle, feeling proud of her accomplishments so far. 

It might have been the routine she was used to, thus bringing her a feeling of soothing, but it was nice to do it because she wanted to for once, rather than it being required of her. It might not have been her home either, but she felt at home there, something she hadn’t experienced in a long, long time.  

[sleepy-writer84]

Could I Be a Hero?

Chapter 3

Next Chapter: link

Eventual OC x Bakugou

Summary: Nanashi and Izuku are finally ready for the UA Entrance Exam. However, Nanashi wonders if becoming a hero in training is what she really wants to do, or if it is just Izuku's dream she's trying to push for.

Words: 1522

Author's Note: I hope you guys are enjoying the story so far! I haven't written anything in a hot minute, so this story is kinda of a project to get me back into writing. Hopefully, it works. Have a great day!

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She was smiling. He was finally getting through to her. Nanashi still wouldn't tell him the truth, but she knew that he knew something had happened to her.

She had told him how All Might had saved her. She had told him that she was afraid of her quirk, and even though he didn't know why, Izuku offered her his support.

It was the day before the UA entrance exam. The two had grown closer. They were nervous and spent the whole day hacking away at the beach All Might had told them to clear.

She was still nervous about using her quirk, but she was getting stronger. She was coming home excited, and Hiroshi was excited for her. Before Izuku she was quiet. She wasn't passionate and her eyes were void of light. She had no goal, nothing she wanted. But she wanted this.

She didn't know if she was working this hard to become something she was afraid of because she wanted to, or because she wanted to make sure Izuku became what he wanted.

She knew the psychology behind two is better than one. She thought about giving up, playing along only to motivate him, and then failing the exam on purpose. But the more she hung out with this boy, the more she realized, that maybe this wouldn't be so bad.

That maybe she could become a hero like All Might. Someone her past self needed earlier in life. Maybe she could be that for someone else.

"Are you ready for tomorrow Izuku?" she asks him, turning towards the boy beside her. She knew calling someone by their given name was personal, but she didn't have a last name, and in the past 5 years she only ever used given names. She had apologized to him and told him she'd work on addressing him formally, but he had promised her it was no issue, and that he truly didn't mind.

"I hope so, I hope I am ready to take on All Might's quirk," he tells her nervously, scratching the top of his head.

"You will be" she offers him comfort, smiling softly at him.

The two then continue to work on the beach. They don't get any sleep, but by the morning they finish cleaning it. All Might seems happy with their progress and offers Izuku a lock of his hair, which contains his quirk. The two then bid him farewell and went their separate ways to get ready for the day.

Nanashi races home that morning. She slams open the door to the restaurant, apologizing for the ruckus. She then bids good morning to Hiroshi. Quickly, she races up the stairs to their living area. She quickly showers and gets ready for the day.

To take the entrance exam, Nanashi had to apply for a special program, which allowed her to complete all the tests she needed for admission. Since she didn't go to school, she had to ensure she passed these exams with flying colors. Luckily she was smart. Before Izuku, she didn't really have anything to do except follow Hiroshi around, and for the past year, manage the restaurant with him. This gave her plenty of time to read, which is why the tests didn't cause her any problems, and with Izuku by her side, anything she had a question about, he was able to help her.

Putting on a black shirt and some jeans, she goes back into the bathroom to brush her hair. Staring into the mirror she sighs. Was she really going to do this? She was starting to doubt herself. Looking into the mirror she only saw her mother and father. What would her mother think if she saw her at UA? The woman wasn't a part of her life anymore, but she couldn't help but feel like she shouldn't be doing this. She was raised to be afraid of herself. To fear her own quirk just because of who her father was. Could she really be a hero?

Taking a deep breath, she tucks her blonde bangs behind her ears, gripping the porcelain of the sink and trying to ground herself. She was okay. She didn't have to live in either of their shadows anymore. Taking one more deep breath, she straightens herself up, nodding at her reflection before leaving the restroom.

She exits the living area, walking down the stairs to the restaurant. "Are you ready?" Hiroshi asks her softly, making eye contact with the teenage girl.

"I hope so," she tells him honestly.

"You've got this," Hiroshi reassures her, "You can do this, I know you can" he smiles at the young girl, ruffling her hair.

Nanashi nods her head before waving goodbye to Hiroshi. It takes a bit of time, but she navigates the streets and the train station, to make it to the entrance exam just in time.

Entering the grounds where the UA entrance exam was being held was surreal. Walking through the gate and towards the room where the orientation was held, she tried to calm her growing nerves.

"Name?" an older man asks her as she walks into the building.

"Nanashi," she says simply, looking up at him. The man then scans through a couple files before handing over the file with her name on it.

"All your instructions and materials are within the packet, take a seat anywhere you'd like," the man tells her gruffly. Nodding her head, she scans the vast amount of people in the room. It was a lot, and quite frankly it overwhelmed her quite a bit. However, she spots a familiar head of green hair and audibly releases a sigh, a grin overtaking her features.

"Hi," she taps Izuku on the shoulder as she reaches where he is sitting. Right next to him was a blonde-haired kid who looked quite uninterested. She recognized this kid to be the same one who got caught by the sludge monster months ago.

"Hi!" Izuku responds excitedly, grinning widely at Nanashi.

As the two settle into small talk, Nanashi notices the blonde kid roll his eyes and groan, tapping his pencil irritably on the table. It's only when President Mic starts talking do Izuku and Nanashi quiet down.

As President Mic explains the rules of the mock battles they'll be doing, the blonde-haired kid speaks up, "I see they're splitting us up so we can't work with any of our friends".

Nanashi looks down at her own card as Izuku does the same thing. Peering over his shoulder, she realizes that they are in different groups for the test, "Yeah. You're right. Our examinee numbers are one after the other, but we're assigned to different battle centers" Izuku responds to the blonde kid. Nanashi leans her head onto Izuku's shoulder trying to look over at the blonde kid's card alongside Izuku.

"Get your eyes off my card," he snaps, pulling his card away from their vision, "Damn. I was really looking forward to crushing you Deku" he spits out, leaning back in his seat.

Nanashi rolls her eyes. Whoever this kid was she wasn't liking his attitude. Moving off of Izuku's shoulder, she looks back at the screen that President Mic was using to present the mock battle and how it would work. He mentioned something about there only being 3 types of robots but the picture showed 4 types. The order he went in, she assumed the fourth one was worth nothing, due to the descending number of points the other robots were presented in.

As President Mic continues to talk, a hand shoots out from the crowd. A man with blackish/bluish hair and square glasses stands up after being called on. He claims that since there were three types of villains on the screen and not four, UA had given them an exam with a misprint on it and that such a highly prestigious school shouldn't be prone to mistakes like that. He then commented on Izuku, calling his hair unkempt and rudely pointing out his muttering, telling him if he wasn't going to take the exam seriously he should just leave.

This annoyed Nanashi. Standing up, she raises her hand. President Mic calls on her, "You have something to add little lady?"

"The fourth villain is worth 0 points, isn't it? I mean why would you tell us to go after something that isn't worth anything, it would seem like a waste of time since it's clearly labeled on our papers" she plainly states, her voice appearing to be monotone.

The kid with glasses tenses and takes a seat as he confirms that Nanashi is correct. Sitting back down, a sly smile takes over her features. Soon, President Mic's spiel is finished and all the contestants are asked to head to their designated battle zone.

"You've got this Izuku," Nanashi tells him, gripping his bicep softly, "I'll see you on the other side". She then stands up and starts to head towards her battle zone. With every step she strays from Izuku though, she starts to question whether or not this is what she actually wants.

[gayjesus2023]

the maze runner p.1

masterlist

~p.2

(Disclaimer: if I mess up some things about the female body I am very sorry!!!(fw: none (that I know of), potentially a little course language))

wc: 0.5k (beginner story)

back story: when the only girl in the pit died when she tried escaping the maze. The people of the laboratory freaked and had to get a girl back into the maze . Until one of the scientist had a plan…

“Where the fuck am i. It’s like a cage, why am I in a cage” you thought to yourself. You screamed for help but all it did was echo through the channel that brought you up. Until the box came to a stop, the doors opened and it took a moment for the light to make friends with your eyes. You could see people, multiple people all of them had big shoulders. So you knew they where all men you were carried out by two of them and hauled into a hut. Some of the boys waited around you then ,one boy told you “It’s ok darling” then you saw darkness.

You woke up after what felt like 3 minutes but when you woke up and saw the same person who said “it’s alright darling” to you. He was blond and you thought that he was a little British. as soon as you saw him, he ran out of the room and got 2 other guys both of them where American but they all stared at you. You focused on your surroundings the blonde one was the British one and the two Americans looked really sporty. Like Runners.

When you fully woke up. No one was around. when you stood up It felt weird, but all you could focus on was your skin. So you walked into the woods behind the little Hut and soon found a little waterway running through the woods, you stripped down and it felt like you just bathed in holy water. Fuck it felt good. It felt like you haven’t eaten in days. you got out and dried your clean body. “ I knew you would be here somewhere” you look over and it’s one of the American boys. he was leaning on a tree. cutting his nails with his teeth “I’m Thomas, call me Tom.” he was handsome with brown hair and a dirty black shirt with beige short cargo pants.

“actually I was just about to come and have a bath, but I guess not” he says coming closer the the water. You and him were on opposite sides of the river. “just wait there” a few minutes past and he brings back a dirty white shirt and some long gray jeans. “look away” you say “Oh! She talks now” you laugh. It was silent for a moment “uhm T-Tom.. do you have any pads or maybe tampons” you hear Tomas breathe for a second. Do you want to overlap your underwear?”

after you finish getting changed you walk out and Thomas is leaning on a tree looking into the thick mist that covers the trees in the distance. As soon as he sees you he looks at you, his eyes move up and down your body. “Hey… I’m sorry I forgot to mention my name… it’s Y/N baby the way” he smiles “hey Y/N … I’m sorry that we don’t have those lady… stuff. But I’m sure we can make something..” before he finishes his scentence there’s a boy running towards Tom. “who’s that…” Tom turns around. “Oh that’s Minho… right you don’t know anyone here”

Minho stops and talks to Tom. “he wants to see her. All the guys think it’s him who deserve.. well except for me chuck and newt and a few others.” he looks at you and smiles. “Your going to want to meet someone” he says smiling greedily.

-book note: eeeek first post. I’ve been looking forward to posting this but if you want me to continue just tell me and I might continue this… (next part at 150 likes)